In Theory ............How hard would it be to...................

In Theory ............How hard would it be to...................

Hi Guys,

The people at work, asked me today, if the M3 computer has a voice. I said I didn't think so. But, that got me to thinking. How hard would it be to add a very simple voice program to the car ? I'm talking about something as simple as a "welcoming" phrase when you start the car, and a "good bye" when you shut it off. I'm sorry if this sounds a bit to corny. But, I am an old bachelor, and it would be nice if the car would say something to me now and then. Maybe like "Good Morning Bob", when I leave for work. How hard can this be, in a car this advanced ??

Bob in Seattle

djharrington | 05. Oktober 2017

Hi Bob. If you're talking about pre-programmed expressions, this is very simple. If you're looking for AI that's interactive and indistinguishable from conversing with a human, that's the holy grail of the science. I think you would really like the movie "Her".

bobinseattle | 05. Oktober 2017

Pre-programmed expressions is what I am looking for.

Bob in Seattle

burdogg | 05. Oktober 2017

Yeah, I don't think Bob is looking for the talk back, smack talking version, yelling, screaming at you, calling you an idiot, etc... version - if so, he would have a wife.

burdogg | 05. Oktober 2017

Hopefully you can enjoy the joke - I just thought, what if his wife passed away, etc... and truly hope that the joke ends up not being offensive to anyone :) Please take it as a stab at humor - and not against females either, I would same the same if Bob was a female, he would have a husband :)

gatorj31 | 05. Oktober 2017

Lol, I got a good laugh at it burdogg

gar1116 | 06. Oktober 2017

burdogg - Chill. It was funny.

ReD eXiLe ms us | 06. Oktober 2017

"The door is ajar."

"Load is unbalanced."

Things like this were around before I graduated high school, over thirty years ago.

My Aunt Margaret loved to paraphrase these as...

"Close the damn door, idiot!"


"Ow! Get out, damn it! Your @$s is too big!"

owlegrad2 | 06. Oktober 2017

burdogg you are way over thinking it, your jokes were hilarious and only the very most stuck up person could find offense. Frankly I am offended you think I might be offended! ;)

Rutrow | 06. Oktober 2017

"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."


noleaf4me | 06. Oktober 2017

Trying to get my name on all the 1st page threads!

burdogg | 06. Oktober 2017

It must have been late and was way overthinking it - so strike my second comment, boy I sure know how to ruin a good joke :)

bobinseattle | 07. Oktober 2017

You guys are just TO funny,. I love all the humor. djharrington say's it would be a "simple task" to do this. But he didn't say how. See first response. Anybody have any ideas how to do this ??

Bob in Seattle

topher | 07. Oktober 2017

Do you want to do this yourself, or are you trying to convince Tesla to do it?

For doing it yourself, the hard part is getting the car to initiate the action in a way you can capture. I don't think it has an API for something like that.

Thank you kindly.

bobinseattle | 07. Oktober 2017


Your probably right. It's just a fun idea that I would love to have in my car.

Bob in Seattle

SCCRENDO | 07. Oktober 2017

Plug in your Amazon Alexa to your USB port

bobinseattle | 07. Oktober 2017

I never thought of that. It just might work.

Bob in Seattle

Rutrow | 07. Oktober 2017

Maybe get a girl/boy friend?

LA-Fohlen | 07. Oktober 2017

I think after the third time I would get into the car and it says "Welcome" I would think "Oh, shut up" because I just picture that could get annoying.

Maybe a little "vroom vroom" when I hit the accelerator.

RedPillSucks | 07. Oktober 2017

I can see it now....

car: The door is ajar....

me: No, damn it... The door is a door!!!!

bobinseattle | 07. Oktober 2017


I'm old enough to know that "girlfriends" often cost more than the car. I'll save all the money, and tuff it out alone.

Bob in Seattle

ReD eXiLe ms us | 07. Oktober 2017

There's a resaon why my last girlfriend was my LAST girlfriend. I haven't tried having a boyfriend, though...

bobinseattle | 07. Oktober 2017

I really don't think it makes any difference. It's gonna cost ya.

Bob in Seattle

JustSaying | 07. Oktober 2017

I have an Echo Dot under the passenger seat of my car. Gets power from the middle console, WIFI hot spot connection from the car (AT&T) and uses a USB for input. The XM internet fidelity is very good and much better than the satellite signal.
BTW the Echo Dot fits right into a cup holder.

Garyeop | 07. Oktober 2017

If Tesla is willing to
1) Allow us to upload a set of sayings
2) Allow us to link one or more actions to a saying
3) Allow us to set random chance to play percent

Example: upload voice of Elon saying "Shut the door". Attach that to door ajar warning 1% of the time. Result is Elon telling you to shut the door about 1 out of 100 times instead of "ding ding ding".

hsadler | 07. Oktober 2017

Ok... that settles it. You guys are spending wayyyy too much time on this forum..... hoping to get a glimmer of Tesla configuration go ahead.

Oh. Wait. I'm here too!!!

ReD eXiLe ms us | 08. Oktober 2017

Soylent Green is people.

What's the watermelon for?

Claatu Barada Nicto.

JustSaying | 08. Oktober 2017

It's a Cookbook!

ReD eXiLe ms us | 08. Oktober 2017

Send them to the cornfield.

bobinseattle | 08. Oktober 2017

"Get that message to Gort"
"He's just a robot, what could he do ?"
"He could destroy the earth"
"Gort, Klaatu Barada Nikto"

ReD eXiLe ms us | 08. Oktober 2017

Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

Rutrow | 09. Oktober 2017

ReD eXiLe ms us | 10. Oktober 2017

You take your pension in loneliness and alcohol.

finman100 | 10. Oktober 2017

Billy Squier? wow. THAT is a blast from the past!

djharrington | 10. Oktober 2017

Bob, what I meant by simple for a Pre-programmed expression is that it's the sort of thing that's been done for at least a couple decades. Think back to good ole Windows 3.1 (or maybe Win95, I don't remember). It was set to play a sound file on start up. There was a default sound, but you could easily record anything you wanted (like "good morning, Bob"). Marry that simple technology with a voice synthesizer (again, available in the 80s as "Sam", but ubiquitous now), and you can have it say pretty much anything you want to type into the pre-programmed expressions. This would be simple for Tesla to add to the car without any additional hardware. However, I'd be surprised if Tesla would spend the time on that now. A proficient hobbiest could add it in an add-on device (like arduino, raspberry pi, etc).

I think what would be more interesting to Tesla and the consumer, and therefore worth the time to develop, would be an interactive assistant (e.g.: Siri) that could greet you, but also perform useful tasks while driving. "Tesla, turn on my hazard lights", "Tesla, turn on rear defroster", "Tesla, self-destruct two minutes after I leave the car"

Frank99 | 10. Oktober 2017

"Tesla, apply 400 volts to the car exterior should anyone touch it"

andy.connor.e | 10. Oktober 2017

Best part about owning a Tesla

ReD eXiLe ms us | 12. Oktober 2017

It would be even better if, instead of having to start sentences with 'Tesla' you could just easy the car's name.

"FUTURE TESTAMENT? Take me home via the scenic route, please."

"FUTURE TESTAMENT? How's the weather ahead?"

"FUTURE TESTAMENT? Play my British Invasion Mix, starting with Def Leppard, please."