Model 3

My Theory About What Happened (subject to revision)

edited November 2018 in Model 3
1) Someone named Dan is the Tesla Model 3 forum monitor

2) Dan is told to monitor the forum, but never ever answer any questions and never ever ever make a post

3) Dan does what he is told for years and years

4) Dan read the posts every day and gets very frustrated that Model 3 owners get to let off a little steam by posting about issues with the most advanced car ever built. Dan loves Tesla and loves his car, but wants to let off a little steam too.

5) Dan makes a post in that regard. Dan forgets his user name is tattooed with the Tesla logo

6) Totally by coincidence Elon makes a tweet soliciting input as to how to improve Tesla (actual tweet:

7) Someone responds, suggesting best way to improve Tesla is to keep idiotic employees from posting to the Tesla forums

8) Elon checks out the accusation.. finds Dan's post... freaks out. Elon has three big buttons next to his bed: The first button is labeled SEND SIGNAL TO SHUTDOWN ALL TESLA'S EVERYWHERE IN CASE OF ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. The second button is labeled DO WHATEVER I AM THINKING RIGHT NOW. The third button is labeled I'M TIRED OF ALL THE WHINING IN THE MODEL 3 FORUM SO IRRETRIEVABLY DELETE ALL POSTS FROM THE BEGINNING OF TIME.

9) Elon wants to delete only Dan's post and reaches for button number two. But in his exuberance over reaches to button number 3.

10) To cover his tracks and not reveal how important it was to delete Dan's post, Elon instead of firing Dan, promotes him to VP in charge of installing a 4th button, labeled UNDO.
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Comments

  • edited November 2018
    That sounds about right.
  • edited November 2018
    What did I miss? What was posted?
  • edited November 2018
    Nah its even simpler than that - someone had the job of keying in the numbers every 108 minutes as a dead man detection device.
    They fell asleep at the wheel and missed the alarm, despite being told, never, ever, ever, do that,. Or really bad things will happen. They did..

    So whats next, a near new plane falling out of the sky suddenly over the ocean?
    Oh wait, that happened a week ago.

    Next the "numbers will be bad" (well for the shorters they kind of are).

    And then, then.

    The zombie apocalypse begins.
  • edited November 2018
    Hey, since the forum was reset back to 2009, we can all get back in for the IPO @ $17/share. Whohoooo!
  • edited November 2018
    They say the Pacific has no memory. That's where I want to live the rest of my life. A warm place with no memory.
  • edited November 2018
    Yes!
  • edited November 2018
    Does someone have the infamous Dan post saved?
  • edited November 2018
    42
  • edited November -1
    Ha...Ha...Ha...

    H2G2

    But really....
  • edited November 2018
    WAIT!!

    Elon has a button to "SEND SIGNAL TO SHUTDOWN ALL TESLA'S EVERYWHERE IN CASE OF ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE."!?!?!?!?!

    Noooo!! My Zombie apocalypse plans all require having my EV functional when all the gas is used up or gone sour. Please say it won't be disabled!!
  • edited November 2018
    It's a cult thing, most wouldn't understand.
  • edited November 2018
    Well there goes my Tesla badge.
  • edited November 2018
    goo.gl/gr63mB
  • edited November 2018
    What? Is this dan checking in?? What does it all mean dan?

    Iwantmy3, I may have misread the label on that button. It was smudged with remnants of a chocolate bar. It may say:

    "IN CASE OF ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE REMOVE ALL SOFTWARE THROTTLING OF THE MOTORS AND ALLOW 100% CHARGING."
  • edited November 2018
    If I remember correctly - the real DAN (tesla employee) had a capital 'D' in his name.....

    Nice try fake Dan
  • edited November 2018
    Okie dokey:
    https://i.gyazo.com/b27a0bd2e9c4feef9d8fa1a4e5edfcf5.png

    Time to start a GoFundMe now that I'm no longer in line to be Chairman or even a VP :(
  • edited November 2018
    Signing off for a while, good night and good luck!
  • edited November 2018
    whoa
  • edited November 2018
    그건 똥이야.
  • edited November 2018
    I wonder if that was for real. Image had the edit and delete buttons at the top but of course images can be faked.

    Maybe the disgruntled employee theory was right?
  • edited November 2018
    Who takes a screen shot of their post? The fact he has access to it after the forum blows up.....I am leaning toward current employee....
  • edited November 2018
    @michael

    He could have taken that screenshot yesterday before the forum blew up.
  • edited November 2018
    42
  • edited November 2018
    Maybe I'm not in on the inside joke...What does 42 mean?
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