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How to write a Seeking Alpha article about Tesla

How to write a Seeking Alpha article about Tesla

[INSERT WHATEVER TESLA MOST RECENTLY ANNOUNCED] is very bad

1. Repeat title but in different words
2. Repeat title again but using different words (very important to use different words from BOTH original title AND bullet #1)
3. Type words

Use the stock ticker (TSLA) in the first sentence. Readers will automatically assume you are an investment banker on Wall Street.

Do your best to type about 300 cohesive words.

Screenshot random person tweeting something that supports your opinion (tweet MUST be within the last five years, no exceptions).

Screenshot one of our ready made "down and to the right" graphs.

[copy paste the following]
Disclosure: I am/we are short TSLA. I wrote this article myself, and it expresses my own opinions. I am not receiving compensation for it (other than from Seeking Alpha). I have no business relationship with any company whose stock is mentioned in this article

kevin_rf | 10 March, 2019

That template is way to positive about $TSLA

Liferules | 10 March, 2019

@rcarrigg, agree completely. I've stopped reading anything about Tesla from Seeking Alpha. Incredibly biased, poorly written, and a waste of one's time...

Carl Thompson | 11 March, 2019

I've noticed more pro-Tesla articles on Seeking Alpha in recent months. Still greatly outnumbered by the Anti-Tesla articles, though.

teslamazing | 12 October, 2019

STOP SPAMMING

Ross1 | 26 May, 2020

gotcha