I am not much of a car washer. My lack of concern about the appearance of the car is well known among my friends and family. Brother said he is going to rat on me to the SPCA (A for automobiles) and people generally agree my cars would cry if they could.
Then Tesla happened. People are talking about getting something called ceramic coating and wrap and what not. I learned there is something called "whirls" (or is it whorls?) that would happen if you hand wash the car incorrectly. So I was a little apprehensive about washing the car myself.
Looked up some youtube videos, got two buckets and soap from Home Depot, I had some wash mitts. I jury rigged a grit baffle. I got an electric leaf blower [*] to dry the car to reduce the amount of rubbing in the drying phase of the wash.
Worked very well. When I blow the air, the water on the car runs like rivulets, they get smaller and smaller. I could see that lots of the water just evaporates. When I ran the microfiber towels to finish the drying those towels remained dry, not much of water left on the car surface!
So looks the simplest way to do it is:
Do it in shade.
Never let soap / suds dry off
Never let beaded water to dry off
Hose down one section, use suds and mitt, back and forth, not circles like the Karate Kid 1 Lesson 1.
Hose off the soap/suds move to the next section.
Keep the washed off sections wet, keep spraying a little water on previously washed sections.
Once the car is washed, go with the leaf blower
Blow air from front to back, car is streamlined and the air flows well.
Drying towels might not even be needed.
What would be nice:
The motor/blower to be left on the ground, and a easier to handle hose alone designed for this specific purpose. It might already exist, I wouldn't know if it does.
Electric pressure washers, not too strong, just 1200 psi or so, have soap tank attachments, might avoid even the sudsy mitt washing. That would be a totally touch free wash.
I have such a pressure washer, not sure if it is a good idea to use it on Tessie. After all SPCA/PETA might come and get me for that.
[*] Ryobi electric, 155 mph 55$.