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How Model S disappointed me

How Model S disappointed me

Amid all the Tesla hype on this site, I think that some things need to be said about the disappointing aspects of Model S ownership:

My Model S didn't make me any younger.
I have not lost any weight.
Model S requires significant maintenance: I've had to wash it at least once a week.
The car dents when you back into things.
I have to plug the car in repeatedly
My power bill went up.
It has consumed significant time and energy participating in Tesla forums
It has consumed significant time and energy replying to individuals saying "Oh, is that a Tesla? Does it really ... ?"
It does not fit in "Compact Car" parking spaces.
My wife and I cannot drive it at the same time.
It has only one glove box (my former Prius had two).
When I press the door handle, it doesn't recognize my thumbprint like my phone does. I have to carry a key fob around.
At Version 8, I can no longer nap while driving.
I can't legally drive it any faster than my old ICE car.
There is no refrigeration in the cup holders.
Summon doesn't work when the car is plugged in.
I have to make an extra stop to get a gas station breakfast burrito.
It doesn't show a special badge on the instrument cluster when I am driving "where no Tesla has gone before."
Voice command will not "Play Koyaanisqatsi" (try it).
I cannot install my car apps on my phone or PC desktop.
Cannot use my ringtones for the horn

I hope this will embolden others to speak frankly about their own experience.

Millionmilesorbust | November 6, 2016

I'm so sick of your complaining :)

kevin | November 6, 2016

Your comment was disappointing.

kevin | November 6, 2016

I was a little taken aback yesterday when someone asked me what MPGe I got. It turns out that he works for Proterra.

TesMD | November 6, 2016

Awesome post. Good to start the day with a laugh.

Run4Waffles | November 6, 2016

Kevin, Kevin, Kevin

You forgot the dreaded question of "Are you faithful?"

and

"How do I get the heel marks off the headliner?"

Especially the latter keeps appearing in threads. Annoying indeed.

Grin

lilbean | November 6, 2016

Lol!

SbMD | November 6, 2016

I still have to walk 20 steps to make my coffee. Where's the integrated coffeemaker I was promised by no one but expected nonetheless? :)

kagai | November 6, 2016

I never even get a chance to remove my Key from the pocket - not even to lock the car :(

Run4Waffles | November 6, 2016

Nice cross post @SbMD!!

Huge Grin

Run4Waffles | November 6, 2016

There's no start/off button/switch to use. I just get in/out of the car to drive/park.

kagai | November 6, 2016

Speaking of which - have the auto-open/auto-close doors come to the MS yet? I kinda envy how MX owners can't even be bothered to swing their doors open or close.

Millionmilesorbust | November 6, 2016

I wrote that literally seconds after waking up. Forgive me.

EdwardG.NO2CO2 | November 6, 2016

My MS won't even let me forget my Dental Appointment!

Silver2K | November 6, 2016

I hate it when it adds new features after doing a software update

SbMD | November 6, 2016

@Run - Glad you caught that :)

lolachampcar | November 6, 2016

More than anything else, I miss the company I used to have when pulling away from a light. I'm am so alone these days.

Mike83 | November 6, 2016

And my car plays music to itself sometimes when it gets an update. Why?

kevin | November 6, 2016

@ EdwardG.NO2CO2
Good news. There is a setting so that the car will let you forget your dental appointment.

lolachampcar | November 6, 2016

Are you sure?
I thought it would remind you every forty seconds wether you needed it or not.

carlk | November 6, 2016

@lala

That's a good one. ;)

trisailor33 | November 6, 2016

Funny to read the comment about making coffee. I talked with my Dad last night about my new car. He is (was) a mechanical engineer, so has some appreciation for exciting new technology. I went on and on about all of Tesla's features. Finally he said; "What? It doesn't make your coffee for you?"

Silver2K | November 6, 2016

k cup coffee maker built into the MS is not so far fetched imo

lilbean | November 6, 2016

No to k cups. So bad for the environment.
@silver, You're wanted on another thread about the different ways to open the charging port door. Your tool may come in handy :-)

Silver2K | November 6, 2016

ooooh...

jordanrichard | November 6, 2016

My MS absolutely and completely ruined new car, car shows. I went to my local new car show last year, actually only to see the Toyota Mira. I wanted to see if the car was indeed as ugly as it looked on line. Anyways, it was if I walked back in time. I have interest in attending it again this year.

lilbean | November 6, 2016

I agree. I have no interest in non-Tesla cars. Every time I see a new expensive car on the road, I think, "Poor sucker".

TPilot | November 6, 2016

Haha very good Kevin

Gee @Run4 I thought my crack last week about the headliner was an original :-(

gguinto | November 6, 2016

Im glad someone actually posted this. I just finished washing my piece of crap Model S.

Silver, switch to Nespresso... It's the bomb! You'll never go to Starbucks again.

TPilot | November 6, 2016

I prefer the Tassimo

lolachampcar | November 6, 2016

Illy here

lolachampcar | November 6, 2016

carlk
lala
I think I like that :)

TeslaTap.com | November 6, 2016

We hate the missing buttons! With my old car that had 100+ buttons, my nephew could be completely occupied pressing all the buttons to see what they did. I never learned what half of them did, but it was always fun to make a guessing game of what all those cryptic icons meant. I kept hoping at least one would "fill up at home", but I never found it.

RedShift | November 6, 2016

Oh, I've got one:

I could not blow smoke back at that coal rolling moron who tormented me on the way to Tahoe.

Aaargh, Elon, the most advanced car should have a 'Squid Mode' button! (Similar to the ink they produce and jet out)

kevin | November 6, 2016

I seriously was disappointed that roadway speed limits apply to the Model S. It just seems that a car that flies like that should be able to spread its wings and go.

kevin | November 6, 2016

I added "No refrigeration in the cup holders" but wouldn't that be easy to do at least in the Summer?

kevin | November 6, 2016

Summon doesn't work when the car is plugged in

gguinto | November 6, 2016

+1 on Illy @lola... Or is it @lala now? LOL

Silver2K | November 6, 2016

lalalalalola sounds best

TPilot | November 6, 2016

I met her in a club down in old Soho ♪

drew | November 6, 2016

I was told by owners, salespeople and the google machine that my Tesla would make me more handsome.
Its ALL lies!

gguinto | November 6, 2016

You mean you're not getting panties thrown at your windshield?! Your MS is defective, please return it.

Run4Waffles | November 6, 2016

Panties fly out if the pano. Along with shoes.

Grin

Mathew98 | November 6, 2016

Did I mention that one time, away from band camp, these two ladies in the twenties proposed a threesome after I showed off my handles?

Run4Waffles | November 6, 2016

Gee, I wonder whom I was referencing when I mentioned "Yeah, but are you faith?"?

Grin

Run4Waffles | November 6, 2016

Sorry for the typo - fly out of the pano.

Run4Waffles | November 6, 2016

But of course @SbMD.

@lola - it's funny how they are so small in the rear view mirror, isn't it.

revrev4ruach | November 6, 2016

When Tesla announces the addition of new coat hooks, AP hardware, or a built-in coffee machine, Tesla refuses to call me and offer me the first one off the factory floor to swap for my current model at no cost to me.

Nexxus | November 7, 2016

Back when I was young, I was told we'd have flying cars by now, guess I'll just have to settle with our Tesla. It's the next best thing!

hkellington48 | November 7, 2016

Thanks for my early morning giggles and grins. You guys are awesome. Speaking of flying cars....every time I press that GO pedal I feel like one of the Jetsons, hearing that beautiful slight whirr of the motors. I actually turn down the radio so I can hear it!

drew | November 7, 2016

Best... Sound... Ever!

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