I think its time we took a page from the trick or treat theme of the Halloween tradition...
It's time we demand that Tesla starts delivering cars to The People. No more stock piling. No more feeble excuses like "It's new technology", or "Production Hell", or "We need to ramp up". No more "Employees and company officers get theirs first".
We've had enough. We're taking action. Everyone, start forming into teams. Team A goes to Fremont on October 30th. Contingency team B, same date at the Nevada Gigafactory. Double-Secret "Spiders from Mars" emergency backup team goes into Ninja mode at Tesla HQ in Palo Alto. The monkeys living under the computer room have been paid off and will let you in.
Plan A calls for Team A to storm the factory at sunset and commandeer all assembled Model 3s. Any cars short of batteries and Plan B will swing into action with Team B storming the GF, absconding with all battery packs, looting the PowerWalls and PowerPacks for additional cells, and hijacking an AMTRAK train to transport everything over the Sierra Mountain Range and on to Fremont by high speed rail.
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That would mean the plans have leaked and that they must be on to us. In this case there will be no Tesla Treat, so Trick it will be. You will retrieve the 5,000 cases of TP stored at nearby abandoned Toy's R Us buildings in Fremont and Sparks. You will intuitively know what to do with the materials....
(At the present time I'm not at liberty to discuss the Double-Secret "Spiders from Mars" emergency backup plan. Let's just pray it doesn't come to that)
Famous quotes supporting this course of action:
"Toilet paper. Lots and lots of toilet paper"
- Neo, The Matrix, Neo and Trinity in the Construct about to rescue Morpheus
"I had a dream that one day all peoples will drive electric cars, and will thus live in harmony for eternity"
- Martin Luther King Jr. (from the book 'Unreported quotes of Martin Luther King Jr.')
"Now, we could fight 'em with conventional weapons. But that could take years and cost millions of lives. Oh no. No, in this case, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part"
- Otter, from the movie Animal House
Any suggestions to refine this plan are welcome.