Forums

The Tesla FUDge Factory is Now Open

The Tesla FUDge Factory is Now Open

There is a lot that comes down from high on Bullshit Mountain. What has amazed me for the last 48 hours is how every piece of positive news on Tesla was dissected, repackaged and presented as a negative.
Rather than reading it all and thinking WTF?! Why don’t we take the “narrative” and have some fun with it?
For the most recent news I have some FUD HEADLINES for the promising Tesla news that is already in use:
• Achieving 5k in a surge week = "UNSUSTAINABLE"
• US deliveries paused to have the 200k car delivered in Q3 = "DELIVERIES ARE DOWN"
• Increased assembly-line efficiency = "DISCARDED SAFETY CHECKS"
• The waiting list for the M3 is down commensurate with deliveries = "DECREASED DEMAND”
@ FrancoP added:
• New general assembly line built in record time and cost = "TESLA HAS NO IDEA HOW TO BUILD CARS AND IS USING A TENT”

So, I would like to see what we can come up with for the joy of it. Take a Tesla positive and spin it NEGATIVE. Most all of us are long-term Tesla fans. We have seen and read a lot. We can collectively benefit from a few laughs. Here’s a few to start:
• Tesla opens factory in China = “DOCUMENTS REVEAL TESLA DOING BUSINESS WITH COMMUNISTS”
• Rare Tesla battery fire never enters the passenger cabin = “YOU CAN’T TOAST YOUR MARSHMALLOWS IN A TESLA”

Now it is your turn...

Middledawg | July 3, 2018

Musk Tweets "The Spice Must Flow" with photo of Motors at Fremont Factory = DISORGANIZED MESS AT TESLA REVEALED IN TIME LAPSE VIDEO. CUSTOMERS GETTING DIRTY MOTORS IN NEW CARS. MUSK IN LEAGUE WITH HARKONENS.

Musk tweets "Engineering Is Magic" = MUSK ADMITS HE'S A WICKEN.

Musk sleeps at Tesla Factory for a week to help ramp up production = BROKE TESLA CEO HOMELESS.

Musk tells employees "think we have arrived as a real car company." = MUSK ADMITS TESLA HAS BEEN FAKING IT FOR YEARS. TESLA HAS NO CLUE HOW TO BUILD CARS.

Tesla assembles 2,000 Model S and Model Xes during last week of 2nd quarter = TESLA IGNORE 455,000 M3 RESERVATION HOLDERS TO MAXIMIZE OUTPUT OF MORE PROFITABLE MS AND MX VEHICLES.

Tesla adds 3rd M3 assembly line in "tent" to ramp up output at end of 2nd quarter = TESLA EMPLOYEES GO CAMPING AT CRITICAL MOMENT FOR ACHIEVING M3 PRODUCTION GOALS

I too was shocked when I googled "Tesla News" today. This is getting ridiculous. There are some mighty scared people out there.

sbeggs | July 4, 2018

KevinR,
Nice thread!

ELON MUSK IS AN ILLEGAL ALIEN. BIRTH CERTIFICATE SHOWS IT. HE OVERSTAYED HIS VISA!

kseehafer | July 4, 2018
Xerogas | July 4, 2018

Tesla reduces subsidy on destination charger infrastructure — IN ADMISSION OF FAILURE, TESLA CANCELS SUPERCHARGER NETWORK

Sorry, I know you wanted us to make stuff up, but Gordon Johnson actually said this on CNN. You can’t make this stuff up!

Madatgascar | July 4, 2018

Here's one from Karl Brauer (Autotrader publisher), noting the 10,000 car difference between cars made and cars sold in Q2:

"Making cars is only half the equation - the other half is finding buyers."

KevinR.co.us | July 4, 2018

Capital investment = CASH BURN
Battery Electric Vehicle = POWERED BY CLEAN COAL

@sbeggs & @dmm1240 Good additions. Thanks.
@kseehafer I agree we all should give that a read.

KevinR.co.us | July 4, 2018

@Xerogas It can be real or made up. You can't make this S#^T up is right. The goal is to reclaim the narrative with humor.

Mike83 | July 4, 2018

LOL. Fun thread. The next whistleblowhard discovered at Tesla had found a few cockroaches have been discovered in the drive trains disguised as crickets making the car unsafe. He gave the info to the media which immediately hit all the major news stations.

Tesla-David | July 4, 2018

Thanks for this thread, and the humor! The incredible volume of FUD news these days is beyond belief and an indication that Tesla is on the verge of disrupting ICE forever. They are scared to death, and I agree we need to reclaim the narrative, which is so out of balance with reality.

KevinR.co.us | July 4, 2018

A wannabe has an idea for an electric vehicle = TESLA KILLER

KevinR.co.us | July 4, 2018

I cross-posted on TMC to engage more of us in the challenge/fun.

Madatgascar | July 4, 2018

Elon tweets a picture of Marvel villain Thanos:

ELON MUSK ADMITS HE'S EVIL, AND WILL CAUSE MASSIVE LOSS FOR THE GREATER GOOD

that one is real, too.

Ross1 | July 5, 2018

Tesla Over The Air Update leaves cars without brakes for more than 3 days.

Musk dating Grimes: Whatever is he thinking, when half a million customers wait for Model 3.

Musk starts his own school to get the education he never had.

Model S and Model X orders ignored while Musk goes into Camp mode.

Trump has not received Model 3: Slur on Presidency.

Model 3 too cramped: Dolly Parton.

Musk finally runs out of ideas: asks followers to help design Pickup.

One fifth of production of Model 3 is from the tent. Musk unable to set up 33% production line efficiently.

Kathy Applebaum | July 5, 2018

"Musk sleeps at Tesla Factory for a week to help ramp up production = BROKE TESLA CEO HOMELESS."

lolololol

But it should have read "BANKWUPT TESLA CEO HOMELESS"

Tesla2018 | July 5, 2018

Tesla launced into space was not sterilized and may contain mold and other bacteria that could alter life on other planets if it makes contact. -That was a real one that was on the web.

Tesla volume increases. They will spin it and say, What good is supercharging station if is always full.

Elon Musk program to build tunnels is destroying the earth by making giant piles of dirt appear near drilling sites.

Tesla employees working in tent say bears on Wall Street are attacking them.

New Tesla Performance model is faster 0-60 than a new Porsche. News reports -Porsche will be selling electric cars before Tesla makes basic model 3.

Tesla will be coming out with a new pickup. Tesla not using diesel to obtain better mileage and torque like other manufacturers.

Xerogas | July 6, 2018

https://townhall.com/columnists/lawrencemeyers/2018/07/05/no-more-subsid...

What a moronic hit piece...here’s a possible fake headline:

Boeing doesn’t understand SpaceX’s plans — ELON CAN’T BE TRUSTED

joemar10 | July 6, 2018

Porsche EV and Tesla Model X had a drag race.

Porsche came in second.
Tesla came in next to last.

Xerogas | July 6, 2018

SpaceX launch costs are 5-10x less expensive than competitors = "IT IS OUTRAGEOUS THAT TAXPAYERS ARE FOOTING THE BILL -- SPACEX HAS TO RELY ON GOVERNMENT CONTRACTS FOR MOST OF ITS LAUNCHES"

...another actual 'point' made by a detractor

Xerogas | July 6, 2018

Tesla Repays Department of Energy Loan Nine Years Early = "TAXPAYERS CHEATED OUT OF 9 YEARS OF INTEREST PAYMENTS"

Rocky_H | July 6, 2018

@Xerogas, Yes, I remember an article that actually portrayed how the Energy Department loan to Tesla "should" have resulted in government ownership of part of Tesla (in the form of a large portion of stock) if the loan hadn't been repaid. And then with the rise in the stock price, the government "should" have had this huge amount of money from the stock gain. So then they played it all in reverse to say that since Tesla DID pay off the loan, taxpayers were deprived of those gains, and therefore had "effectively" subsidized Tesla by that fictional amount which never really existed, except in the author's imagination.

Ross1 | July 6, 2018

Here is a thread of good real headlines, Elon is offering to help the trapped kids in the cave in Thailand

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-07-06/elon-musk-sends-spacex-to-help-res...

I will start another thread where we can follow progress

Ross1 | July 6, 2018

in GENERAL:

Supermusk

Madatgascar | July 7, 2018

Bump

KevinR.co.us | July 8, 2018

I would like to add a side note to this thread. There are many reasons I am "all in" on Tesla and Elon Musk projects. I have been closely following Tesla & SpaceX since 2011. I am not a big numbers person. These are data points that I use in my decisions.
• He didn't go public with Tesla until he had assured himself it would make money for his investors.
• The pre-video audio feed at the time of the first S being delivered had someone asking Elon if this was one his greatest days ever. He replied something like "well you have to compare that with things like the birth of your children".
• The first industrial injury at the Fremont factory got a concerned personal response from Elon.
• He sees a group of kids trapped in a cave in Thailand and thinks "I have to help"
Musk is much more than a "decent" human being. His core values are reflected in his companies and his actions. This drives those who have sold their souls long ago nuts!
I have no doubt that the attacks, distortions, and FUD will continue. Where possible, I try to use humor as a defense. Okay-- back to the thread already in progress...

Mike83 | July 8, 2018

@KevinR.co.us +100

Tesla-David | July 8, 2018

@KevinR.co.us. +1, great summary of why I also am all-In on Tesla/EM!