'Twas the night before Xmas or Account of a Visit from St. Elon

'Twas the night before Xmas or Account of a Visit from St. Elon

'Twas the night 'for Xmas and all through the forum,
The posters were antsy, they'd thrown out decorum!

Their stocks had gone up at the end of last week,
In the hopes that St. Elon would send out a Tweet.

The Res. holders were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of falcon wings danced in their heads.

While Bonnie in her Roadster and Nigel in his 'S',
Had just settled down to let their fingers rest.

When over at Fremont there arose such a clatter,
A new thread was started to discuss what was the matter.

LED headlights started to flash,
And v7.0 appeared on the dash!

The moonlight at Hawthorne started to show,
That the launch of this next model was 'all systems go'.

When what to our wondering eyes did appear,
But the new Model X! This was no mule, dear.

With a wing-walking driver, no way Exxon's pawn,
We knew in a moment this must be Elon!

More rapid than falcons this SUV came,
And he laughed and joked and called it 'Insane':

Now JB, now Deepak, now Franz and Chris Porritt!
On Diarmuid, on Jerome and George B. before it,

To the top of the sales charts, to to the ships in the ports!
get cars to customers, (and Consumer Reports)!

As blurry videos showed before the car was yet driven,
The 'X' is amazing, delays are forgiven!

So out to the Founders and showrooms they flew,
Went trucks full of Xs and Elon went too!

And then, in the media, we heard with a cheer,
Motor Trend, once again, said 'Car of the Year'!

As we checked on our status, and deliv. date projections,
Elon streamed a reveal that showed all the options!

He was dressed all in black, clothes Talulah had picked,
And we swear his sunglasses were electrochromic!

Purchase agreements, he had in a stack,
Those old auto dealers were taken aback!

His projections, how they fluttered, and while recently wary,
50,000 deliveries did not seem so scary,

With autonomous here, and a little more code,
The Model X would have its own 'Ludicrous' mode.

The second row seats, how they swivel to greet,
And a titanium shield still lurks beneath,

The nose has a cone and the rear can tow plenty,
And with a big battery pack it exceeds 120.

It was stylish and sleek, an SUMV*,
We all knew the servers would blow at TMC.

This is the future, we're all into EVs,
And it gave us a great hope for the new Model 3s.

We are grateful for Tesla and all their great work,
Ignore Holman Jenkins, the miserable jerk.

So here's to the Founders and Signatures too,
Powerwall, Powerpack and Gig Factory 2.

Elon sprang to the Hyperloop, SpaceX had a countdown,
There's a lot on his plate, don't let it get him down,

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Solar panels to all, let's be powered by light".

*SUMV = Sports Utility Mini Van

sbeggs | 30/08/2015



jjs | 30/08/2015

Awesome. Thanks for being the eye of the storm. :)

Red Sage ca us | 30/08/2015


aesculus | 30/08/2015

Very crafty

etiffol | 30/08/2015

Didn't doubt for a second

ernie | 30/08/2015

Salubrious content.

EternalChampion | 30/08/2015

Insanely creative

Ross1 | 30/08/2015

I think you might have something with the wing walking line.

The wing walk Elon did recently on a biplane in England was just a prophecy, a shadow of things to come.

When the MX is finally revealed, Elon will be standing atop the Falcon Wing doors while they soar into the limelight.

Wings wide open, on a white X charger come to save us all from the ICE age.

Perhaps Mrs Elon will wing walk too on her own steed. As she also wing walked on the biplane.

Perhaps someone could photoshop the event and send it to him?

docnelsonlehrer | 30/08/2015

We have a Poet Emeritus in the forum!!!

ian | 30/08/2015

Superlative indeed. Great stuff Cattledog! | 31/08/2015

@Cattledog: A remarkable outpouring of Teslarian rhyming except for "greet" and "beneath" but who's quibbling.

Davidb0229 | 31/08/2015

Very creative!

jb2510 | 31/08/2015


Mark Z | 31/08/2015

Tweets to this poem are being sent throughout the land. In a world that needs some joy, Cattledog's incredible work has put smiles on many faces. Additional comments are here:

mkent | 31/08/2015

Well Done! Numerous smiles crossed my face!

Mel. | 31/08/2015

Out of the park.

Lubdub | 31/08/2015

Fantastic work
But "Saint Elon" ? Oh my

jacksiart | 31/08/2015

Ok, so we have an official poet for the X. Does president George have to ratify the appointment?

ken | 31/08/2015

Great job, who would have thought this from a "Cattledog"!