New World Record!! Calling Guinness.

New World Record!! Calling Guinness.

Please don't try this at home. It works much better in your car.

Yesterday, I did something just a little reckless. Please don't let the wife know, or my insurance company, for that matter. I drove from my house all the way to Long Beach, NY on surface streets with my dashboard and 17" screen covered in black cloth. That's right, I was driving only using my God given senses of sight (impaired), hearing (What?) and touch. Man, I felt ALIVE!!!

I had no idea if the car was even on before I hit the stalk to hopefully put it in reverse. (How could I tell what with the indicator and the rear view display covered.) I backed out of my driveway and heard a beep. It sounded like a parking sensor but how was I to tell if it was a front thing or a rear thing? Silly me, I looked. What a concept!! One disaster avoided.

I then proceeded to drive out of my development with absolutely no idea how fast I was going, if my brake lights came on, what time it was or even what station I was listening to on the radio. But was I crazy or did the air smell sweeter and did everything I looked at have a bit more color?

I signalled for a left turn and, thank God, the blinker made a sound because how else could I tell if the blinker was actually on? I still wasn't sure if the correct blinker was on because the left and right blinker make the same sound (they should do something about that in 7.1) and I couldn't see the green blinky thing on the dash but I was confident in my muscle memory. (Is that one of the senses?)

I get onto some busy boulevards still unsure of my speed and no idea how much energy I'm using or if I'll have enough. Sure, my car starts the day at 180 miles of rated range and Long Beach is only 9 miles away, but without minute to minute verification how do I know I'm not going to stop dead in the middle of an intersection. Remember, I can't see the temp and we all know how much impact cold weather has on range, so I could be in real trouble here. Okay, I'm in a light sweater and the day before the temp gauge said something like 59, but weather changes fast in the Northeast. I could be gobbling up kWhs at an alarming rate.

My daughter told me to pick her up at 5:30 and she'd be waiting outside. (In this weather??!!!) Problem is I have no idea what time it is. Should I call her and tell her I might be late? Wait. Before I left my house I noticed a clock in the kitchen that said 4:35. Long Beach is just 20 minutes away. Whew!! She gets a little testy if she has to stand outside too long in a possible snowstorm.

I'm feeling okay and quite comfortable to the point that I can relax a little knowing that driving "blind" is not as challenging as I thought it might be. And then fear started welling up in my throat. OMG I have no idea if I need a tire rotation or an annual service!! I can't see the odometer!! I start driving a little faster (I think) hopefully to get to my daughter in time to make an appointment just in case I drove 2500 miles since yesterday. How could I tell?

I finally pull up to her house and yank the cloth off my dash and look lovingly at the little white car. "I missed you." I take the cloth out of the car, wipe off the sweat pouring off my brow and then kneel down and kiss the ground. I made it. 9 miles, 22 minutes with nothing to go by but the 45 years of driving experience I've been led to believe didn't matter anymore. Too bad I don't have dash cams and I forgot to record it on my phone. They'll never believe it at Guinness.

Imagine, driving without access to a speedometer, battery gauge, rated range, direction indicator, time, temp, odometer, rear camera and radio station info? I AM NOT doing that again.

-Gman- | 27. lokakuu 2015

Cool story, bro, but 9 miles in 22 minutes?!?
You should get that checked out-- your car sounds busted ;-)

brad | 27. lokakuu 2015

Phew! Glad you made it the full 9 miles safely and in one piece. And they said it couldn't be done in an EV.


sbeggs | 27. lokakuu 2015


Great story! Giggling.

PBEndo | 27. lokakuu 2015

I am surprised you could go 22 minutes without checking the forum. ;)

sule | 27. lokakuu 2015

:))) You didn't try hands-free driving and post a video on YouTube, though...

tes-s | 27. lokakuu 2015

Is there an easy way to blank the 17" - other than putting it in clean mode?

I'd like it to be like a computer and have an option to turn off the display after not being touched for a specified amount of time. Touching it would turn it back on, as would an alert (like nav re-routing because of traffic).

SbMD | 27. lokakuu 2015

Can you translate the time spent into bagel production terms (without capers, please) :)

renwo S alset | 27. lokakuu 2015

Next time you should walk.

tes-s | 27. lokakuu 2015

Yes! Nest time walk...blind folded!

How DARE you cover the new UI!

lasse | 27. lokakuu 2015

Cool story :-)

Bighorn | 27. lokakuu 2015

I thought the white car cartoon blinded everybody already.

trixiew | 27. lokakuu 2015

How can we really believe that you experienced this spectacular feat without photos of your dash?

Tola | 27. lokakuu 2015

Funny, JT! That explains why there was a white Model S driving so erratically on Penisula Blvd yesterday.

Hart | 27. lokakuu 2015

Great story, JT. Next we want to hear how you covered those nine miles in reverse, please!

Chunky Jr. | 27. lokakuu 2015

At first I thought the world record was going almost a day without a new thread about the v7 UI.

bobrobert | 27. lokakuu 2015

Dagnabbed hippy vegan! Next you'll try kissing a girl without using the flavor enhancement of alcohol.

jordanrichard | 27. lokakuu 2015

JT, well said/done.

I once, while the wife was in the car, reset the screens while driving the down the highway, at night. Talk about an interesting experience.....

SamO | 27. lokakuu 2015

Best UI thread ever.

brec | 27. lokakuu 2015

You'll all stop laughing when you find out that J.T. was beta testing 7.1.

J.T. | 27. lokakuu 2015

I just want to say that nobody enjoys my writing as much as I do but some of these remarks are way funnier than the OP.


NKYTA | 27. lokakuu 2015

:-) :-)

Run4Waffles | 27. lokakuu 2015

Wasn't it the same sensation as when you/we/some first started driving?

Did you go home and have waffles?

Great story. Great comments folks.

Sam_S | 27. lokakuu 2015 you'll be telling us you had sex without Viagra.

SbMD | 27. lokakuu 2015

@jordanRichard - isn't what you just described also known as the "Paul Revere Maneuver", hurtling through darkness, without directional guidance, screaming at the top of one's lungs :)

renwo S alset | 27. lokakuu 2015

Next time, instead of covering the dash, cover your head and use AP.

Bighorn | 27. lokakuu 2015

@Sam S
That's what we refer to as "a bridge too far" in historical fiction.

PBEndo | 27. lokakuu 2015

"next you'll be telling us you had sex without Viagra."

If that happened, he'd be telling everyone!

J.T. | 27. lokakuu 2015

@PBEndo A man walks into a Church and proceeds to a confessional and enters. The window opens and he says, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned."
" What is the nature of your sin, my son?"
" I met this 22 year old girl at a bar. We hit it off so I got a room and had sex with her all night every way I could imagine. In the morning I gave her a fake name and number and left."
The Priest, not recognizing the man's voice sad, "How old are you, my son?"
"I'm 63."
"How long has it been since your last confession?"
"Oh, I've never confessed before. I'm not even Catholic. I'm Jewish."
"So, why are you telling me?"
"I'm telling everybody."

PBEndo | 27. lokakuu 2015


prp | 27. lokakuu 2015

Great OP JT. It's a decent summary of the 'problems' of the post 6.2 era. You didn't mention, but hope you checked your tire pressure before embarking on that epic journey, and noticed you didn't cover your cup holders.

JAD | 27. lokakuu 2015

Yes, but what if the NAV told you to take a different route or maybe supercharge to make it. You can't just use your own judgement in those situations, you must always follow the directions then immediately post how dumb the system is 'making' you drive the wrong way. :)

Galve2000 | 27. lokakuu 2015

JT excellent post!

I think, at the end of the day, the problem is not with the Model S or with the 7.0 interface.. which is (let me publicly weigh in for the 1st time).. an IMPROVEMENT over 6.2...

The problem in the end is the humans that drive them. thankfully those can be improved upon too.. unfortunately improving on humans is typically a most difficult, time consuming, and costly endeavor. :(

I remember growing up we were the last house on our block to get cable TV. it was true that cable did arrive rather late to my neighborhood in Brooklyn, NY -- but the truth was that my parents were too cheap to pay for something as frivolous as TV programing when we already got some OTA for free -- so they kept the fiction about no cable TV available in or neighborhood long past when it was available.

A year or two before I went off to college we finally did get Dish! Network so my parents could get access to the Greek channel. Digital cable offered 250 channels as well as the modern conveniences of programing information and a channel guide time table, among other things. Wow TV watching at the end of the 20th century was TRULY amazing!

now once in a while, to my horror, the on screen info and channel guide malfunctions and is not available even tho the actual programing can be viewed just fine. But I find that this lack of on the fly information irritates me to no end. i mean i know I am watching Jeopardy right now, or that is obviously Kim Kardashian and Co doing god-knows-what for all to see... but I become inexplicably irate when I cannot see the accompanying information that is typically available with modern digital cable. (How am I supped to know it it is Season 7 Episode 2 or Season 9 Episode 7 without this information being explicitly provided by the cable co as usual??)

(and you don't want to be around me if this info is not available and i do NOT know what I'm watching. then FORGET it. I could kill someone!!)

Thinking logically I know that the programing information is not the most important thing. I actually get more annoyed that the guide and programing info isn't working than I do when the programing itself is actually malfunctioning. its completely illogical, i know. I cannot help myself.

Humans are lesser beings. Sorry Model S.. I wish we could do better. but instead we come to public forums and complain that things have changed, are missing, or just in a different place than we are used to seeing them.

change is hard. to adjust takes work and sometimes risk.. and people do not like that.

don't blame the world's best car or the company that envisioned and builds it,

I blame the humans.

Bluesday Afternoon | 27. lokakuu 2015

Call Guinness? I'd rather have a pint of the dark lovely. Cheers and be sure to "...tell everybody."

Enjoyed the joke, too!

dborn | 27. lokakuu 2015

Be daring. Try it next time on a bicycle. Mind you, even they now are loaded with computers, GPS, speed distance readouts and with Strava, full recording of your journey, stats, energy expenditure comparison with others in your age bracket, etc etc etc.

evaandmarty | 27. lokakuu 2015

Thats impossible !

AoneOne | 27. lokakuu 2015

How could you tell if the seat heaters were on? | 27. lokakuu 2015

JT - Where is the video post? The fact that the video is black for 22 minutes should prove to everyone it's real.

FelixMendeldog | 27. lokakuu 2015


J.T. | 27. lokakuu 2015

@TT I love that movie. | 27. lokakuu 2015

@JT: I hate to be the one to ask this, but in the absence of a facial expression not to be mentioned, can you back this up with photographic or video evidence? Were there any witnesses? Precisely how opaque was the cloth that you used to cover the display? | 27. lokakuu 2015

Don't flaunt me. I have a Master's Degree in SCIENCE!

J.T. | 27. lokakuu 2015

@gergehawley Well, I have a Lawrence Junior High School Certificate of Merit in Creative Writing, so there! :-p | 27. lokakuu 2015


techdoc | 27. lokakuu 2015

For the next video in the series, I suggest you put your call in Elon mode (hop on the nearest interstate, set a course for the next state in whatever direction you prefer, kick on the AP, throw up a sun visor on the windshield, and take a nap until you arrive.

lesleymeister | 27. lokakuu 2015

So proud of a fellow Lawrence High School alum. Go Tornadoes!

Ross1 | 28. lokakuu 2015

Hello JT,

Even I thought it was funny.

The comments too.

I think I would like to be a sit-down comedian when I grow up too.

I am already starting to look the part.

I am only 68.

J.T. | 28. lokakuu 2015

@1PT1GEE :-) Class of '71.

J.T. | 28. lokakuu 2015

@Ross You sound much more youthful in your posts. Lots of energy.

Ross1 | 28. lokakuu 2015

@ JT:

I was diagnosed with Parkinson's last year but I have got over it, gone away.

Turned out it was due to another med I was taking.

So I am perhaps enjoying my new found youth.

J.T. | 28. lokakuu 2015

@Ross That's great. Keep up the efforts, I'm sure you'll write something funny "soon." :-)