Absurd flyers being placed on Teslas in San Francisco

Absurd flyers being placed on Teslas in San Francisco

They aren't being claimed with any group, so it's almost not worth paying attention to the crazy rants of anonymous people, but thought people would enjoy the insane claims in these flyers:

LEvans | April 30, 2014

Are you sure this is not something you found on The Onion? :)

NKYTA | April 30, 2014

Good grief.

AlMc | April 30, 2014

Being discussed at TMC also. It is so off base it is actually funny. A comment was made that the author must be mad that the batteries were taking all his lithium supply and he is upset.

mgboyes | April 30, 2014

"Tesla seat vibration causes Anal Itching!" may well be the funniest thing I have read this year.


mal42north | April 30, 2014

I'm fairly sure that the white powder coming out of Afghanistan is not Lithium Carbonate.

redders | April 30, 2014

I would respond in more detail but I'm scratching my butt.

Rheumboy | April 30, 2014

Mine came with suppositories!

David N | April 30, 2014

As mgboyes mentioned above,
The "Tesla seat vibration causes Anal itching", now that is funny! I got a good laugh out of that one.

anodyne | April 30, 2014

I want to see the studies about the "increased drug, sex, and risk inclinations." I'm a quaker, and I don't want the car if I won't fit in. jk :)

Pungoteague_Dave | April 30, 2014

definitely agree with the strange sexual behavior.

amperialist | April 30, 2014

Lithium ion batteries blow up when bumped! That explains all those maimed iPhone users who dropped their phone only to have it disintegrate and cause shrapnel wounds to people nearby! No wonder Apple stock is taking a beating! Must be true too, look how the market responded to Tesla stock over the past year or two. I am so glad I sold my stock at $9.23 while there were suckers to buy it!

And to think that Google was in on it all along! Thank God we have Obamacare to take care of the afflicted (especially those with extreme anal itch and sexual deviancy!) at no cost to the afflicted ones.

shop | April 30, 2014

What is it with San Francisco? First the Google Bus terrorism, now this? Sheesh...

AndyO | April 30, 2014

This is so patently absurd. It does sound like things forwarded to me by one of my friends and one of my family members but I will decline to identify names or political affiliations.

Anal itching is just icing on the cake (if you don't try to think about actual analogies).


Red Sage ca us | April 30, 2014

Wow. It really makes one wonder... How did these deluded crackpots manage to pay attention long enough to learn how to write?

TeslaLandShark | April 30, 2014

Damn, my LandShark was parked in SF today, why didn't I get one of these?????

mrspaghetti | April 30, 2014

"Strange sexual behavior", eh? Were any of you guys part of those studies?

NKYTA | May 1, 2014

Hmm...maybe a stealth startup hydrogen car company in SF with some funding that is trying to battle Tesla?

That...or just plain wackos.

tomas.hutters | May 1, 2014

Would be very interesting to find out who is behind this! My money is on an intelligent individual with a psychiatric diagnosis rather than some less harmless conspiracy, but you never know.

HenryT2 | May 1, 2014

I guarantee the author is a teabagger. Once something is called out by Fox and Romney, et al, reality no longer matters. Tesla was lumped in with Fisker and Solyndra early on and I'm certain this person drank that particular cup of koolaid.

Michael_Bluth | May 1, 2014

After reading this I realized something.....I am a terrible person.

Michael_Bluth | May 1, 2014

Not completely, though. No homocides cause that's just crazy.

GoodReason | May 1, 2014

Attention Red Sector Alpha: They're onto us. Abort mission.

Mathew98 | May 1, 2014

"Tesla seat vibration causes Anal Itching!"
"Strange sexual behavior"

Wait a minute, didn't @Bamboo8 post his excellent adventure last year eluding to the above items? Hmm, let's cross reference for the writing style...

dramingly | May 1, 2014

Agree with Tomas. Some sort of psychosis with obsessional tendencies. This is the type of thing that sounds funny until he tries to shoot Elon Musk or some innocent car owner. When the police break into his house, the walls will be papered with newspaper cuttings with red xs over his victims.

JonathanL | May 1, 2014

Looks like the work of Trolls and Orcs.

bradslee | May 1, 2014

And no surprise that kind of Tesla bashing is intensified when Tesla quarterly earnings release is getting closer. However, time and time again, this kind of bashing on Tesla would fail miserably.

shop | May 1, 2014

This is mental illness, plain and simple.

Red Sage ca us | May 1, 2014


Yeah. Definitely a crackpot. I am impressed that they managed to fit all the slurs against Tesla Motors on a single sheet of paper. Nice economy there. Also, after giving a lengthy list of crackpot websites to support these concepts, they managed to squeeze in The Los Angeles Times website too. Figures.

J.T. | May 1, 2014

@Red Sage I am impressed that they managed to fit all the slurs against Tesla Motors on a single sheet of paper.

I think I know who this is. When I was in high school geometry our teacher gave us a new required theorem to learn every week. We had to write out all the previous ones and then add the new one every week for homework.

One guy did it on a single piece of notebook paper. All 17 required theorems, with diagrams on a single sheet, front and back.

I've heard he's a landscape engineer in San Francisco.

plusplusjames | May 1, 2014

Reminds me of fRox News! LOL!

AmpedRealtor | May 1, 2014

It looks like NNT has found a new pastime...

SD Supercharger | May 1, 2014

A recently fired disgruntled employee? If we catch him, his punishment should be a cross country round trip in a MS. Just think how boring our country would be without San Francisco--I love that place.

renwo S alset | May 1, 2014

There's stuff that will fix "painful rectal itch", not to mention "the heartbreak of Psoriasis" & "ring around the collar" if you get that, too. Because technology.

bobrobert | May 1, 2014

At least the Tesla has no fluoride - no threat to our Purity Of Essence

Andercam | May 1, 2014

So... after reading this, was the guy caught on video dancing naked out his sunroof doing it because he has a "strange sexual behavior" or because he had "anal itch"?

AmpedRealtor | May 1, 2014

I have a feeling that whoever wrote that piece has really bad B.O. Just a hunch...

AmpedRealtor | May 1, 2014

What would be considered strange sexual behavior in San Francisco, I wonder?

thranx | May 1, 2014

I don't want to live on this planet anymore

tomas.hutters | May 1, 2014

@dramingly, thanks for elaborating. I had similar thoughts but I was not sure if it would be appropriate to start speculating about the diagnostic details here even though it is very tempting given such rich material. I hope he/she will not hurt anyone should the fragile defences break down, eventually.

Talking about speculation: could there be a connection to the recent video of a man directing traffic while standing naked in a Model S?

Nuts4MS | May 1, 2014

I was thinking the same thing but instead of NNT I was sure TrekkieNot/Gadfly was running around in his Tesla with a stack of these to mess with the "fan boys" lol.

Red Sage ca us | May 1, 2014

I just noticed that they listed one of the websites twice.

Baribrotzer | May 1, 2014

@ HenryT2: I guarantee the author is a teabagger.

Not necessarily. Both left-wing and right-wing extremist dog-whistle phrases and concepts may be found in that screed. Remember, there are quite a few hard-left environmentalists who dislike the Model S for its high price, its weight and bulk, its perceived elitism, and its inelegant "think big" engineering solution to electric car design. Maybe as many of them as right-wingers who dislike it for its PC environmentalism and the Tesla Co's refusal to play ball with the dealers or with Short-time Wall Street players. Maybe not. And SF is one of the few US cities where there are enough left-side wingnuts for something like that to find a bit of traction.

Mathew98 | May 1, 2014

Teabagger is also a slang for c@cksucker, literally...

SeattleSid | May 1, 2014

Not literally, Mathew, but anatomically quite close.

Red Sage ca us | May 1, 2014

'Tea Bagger'... 'Pipe Smoker'... Such horrid names. Not at all nice. I prefer to use 'crackpot', but I admit that 'wingnut' works just fine. ;-)

Baribrotzer: Agreed. This seems to just pile in naysayers' statements from all points of view. People who are looking for a reason to hate Tesla Motors have no problem accepting any no matter the source. 'The Enemy of My Enemy is Someone I Trust More Than My Enemy' and all that rot. It doesn't matter to a crackpot that another crackpot agrees with them. They are just happy to have allies, no matter how illogical or unsubstantiated the grounds. Haters gotta hate.

SDR06 | May 1, 2014

My personal favorite "Google, the world's largest surveillance is a silent partner in Tesla"

Cool. Next time my car is stolen, they could use their "largest surveillance" network to track it down ;)

Brian H | May 1, 2014

Must've focused on Mathew98's posts.

BrassGuy | May 1, 2014

Wait a minute... my seat doesn't vibrate. Tesla took that option away without telling us!

Mathew98 | May 1, 2014

Yes, Brian, my pimp name is Long Dong Johnson. ;P

Ohmman | May 1, 2014

Constipated? Nothing a quick drive in a Tesla won't solve. Like working a ball bearing through irrigation tubing, the key is vibration.