An Ode to My Ownership Journey

An Ode to My Ownership Journey

I found the Tesla Forum just about two years ago
I read a bunch of threads discussing things I didn’t know
They talked about the software, the performance and the range
It’s funny how it’s been two years and nothing here has changed.

I started my due diligence and read about each option
Then learned that there were orphan cars just waiting for adoption
Too bad for me that none of those matched anything I wanted
So even though I’d have to wait I took the plunge undaunted.

I ordered a white 85 with pano, tech and air
With tan seats and piano black, the tires, standard fare.
And then I felt I missed a step, I’d never seen a live one
So I found my local gallery and asked if I could drive one.

I know it sounds ridiculous to buy a Tesla blind
I don’t know what was going on but my wife seemed not to mind.
“You deserve to treat yourself, you’ve worked hard all your life.”
I said, “That’s really sweet, now tell me where the hell’s my wife!”

My test drive was incredible, it puts on quite a show.
Of course, this isn’t anything you don’t already know.
But after that those 7 weeks seemed like they’d never end
And as most of you have figured out the dashboard’s not your friend.

But what to do to kill the time where could I get a fix?
The forum beckoned with all kinds of info, tips and tricks.
Newbies, experts, trolls and goofs all come here just to see
What others in the Tesla world are guessing what will be.

You get a sense quite early on of posters you should follow
Their data is rock solid where some others’ might be hollow.
They share their knowledge and their time, they do it out of love
For a company whose mission is to be a cut above.

The level of intelligence exhibited each day
Is rivaled by the nonsense when some posters have their say
I’ve always thought I’d make a list of members to pay heed to
But after time you get it so it’s something I don’t need to.

The seven weeks were up and yet my car was still not ready
My Dashboard showed that nothing changed and it was holding steady.
My DS was on top of it he said I’d have it soon.
I was new but knew that “soon” turned Aprils into Junes.

Finally the day arrived I reached Long Island City
I had Nick Howe’s checklist in hand and gee, my car looked pretty.
My DS started showing me the things I had to know
But you guys had prepared me well and I just had to GO!!!

I finally got out of there and hit the LIE
The potholes, cops and traffic jams no longer bothered me
“Cause I was in a space boat made from Elon’s light and wonder
And Teslaitis was the spell it seemed I’d fallen under.

Without a doubt the forum was the key to my decision
I never took a risk like that not since my circumcision
First model of a brand new car, an infant company
Not even a review to read from Edmund’s or C&D.

But members of the Forum, lolachampcar and CZ,
(Two people who knew so much more about this stuff than me.)
Said that the Model S was an incredible achievement
And anyone who owned the car was lockstep in agreement.

The more you drive the car you learn there’s so much more to know,
Like when to charge it, how to wash it, “How far can I go?”
So back into the Forum to find threads on every topic
And also to find out that Tesla can be quite myopic.

There was no search, no easy way to find out what you wished
So nickjhowe spawned Volkerize to give us an assist
But even then we still were swamped with questions about range
And also why the rated mile algorithms changed

That’s when I got the idea to create an FAQ,
To have a thread where newbies can find everything to do
To make their car and travels more efficient and more fun
And gather information pertinent to everyone.

I like to think it’s made the Forum better in some way
It’s stopped a lot of questions we’d see each and every day
I’ve asked Tesla to make it stick to keep the thread in view
But if they did NKYTA would have nothing left to do.

The Ownership experience for me has been the best
A rocket ship to drive and service centers that don’t rest
Call me fanboi if you like I wear the badge with pride
There is no sense denying it, this grin I cannot hide.

There is no point to this post.
But flag away if you must. (Poetic license)

trixiew | February 13, 2015

I'm glad I didn't skim your post. I would have missed the circumcision.

Fun read, I also LOVE my Tesla and still grin when I see it.

MileHighMotoring | February 13, 2015

There once was a car from Nantucket...

EVino | February 13, 2015

Well done. *applause*

Red Sage ca us | February 13, 2015

J.T.: +42 UP!. BRAVO!

brad | February 13, 2015

@J.T. +1 and thanks for your time and energy to make this so much better for late arrivals to TMC and this board like me.

I finally took a test drive in July and ordered an S85 and expected delivery in late October. I started reading posts on this forum frequently and learned a lot about the car I had ordered. I printed out Nick Howe's guide, lined up financing and was ready and excited for my car to be delivered. But then, TMC announced the D. I have driven all wheel drive cars for most of my driving years since 1984 when I first drove an Audi 4000 Quattro. I had hoped the TMC would offer an AWD version and was very happy to see what the "D" stood for. Without driving one I contacted my DS as soon as I could and asked if I could change to the D. I also went ahead and placed a reservation for a MX as I think my wife will truly enjoy the car once it is available. I wanted to have my place in line before the line got longer and longer.

My S85D (Vin 69687) is expected to go into production the week of Feb 23rd and to be delivered around March 13th to the Rockville, MD SC. I wave to Tesla drivers now and they look at me like I am nuts as I am driving a Mini Cooper! Recently, I switched from waving to a thumb up.

The waiting is the hardest part but posts like yours keep me entertained along the way.

Thanks again for paving the way!!!

Bighorn | February 13, 2015

Awesome JT!! I was wondering why you'd been so quiet lately--working on your magnum opus!

logicalthinker | February 13, 2015

@eco5280, now you've laid down the gauntlet... who will take the challenge.

There once was a car from Nantucket
That drove with no gas in its bucket

ok I fail

mathwhiz | February 13, 2015

Thanks for that J.T. It'a nice to wake-up to, here on the left coast.


Captain_Zap | February 13, 2015

Gosh, I don't know what to say...
Except a plugged in Tesla is a happy Tesla!
Bravo JT

brian_in_TX | February 13, 2015

Well done indeed. | February 13, 2015

There once was a car from Nantucket
That drove with no gas in its bucket
It has plenty of room
And goes by with a ZOOM


J.T. | February 13, 2015

So you guys in your ICEs can suck it. | February 13, 2015

Great post indeed J.T.

PBEndo | February 13, 2015

A rock star, a poet, and he can cook!
A true renaissance man!

jjs | February 13, 2015

@J.T. Very nice. Enjoyed the post.

renwo S alset | February 13, 2015

Three guys walk into a bar, McClary, Gadfly and JT....

J.T. | February 13, 2015

@renow The only way I'm hanging out with Gadfly is if I'm already drunk, so I must have been leaving.

Oh, and I'd hang out anywhere with mclary!

Bighorn | February 13, 2015

Isn't it rude to not invite Grinnin'?
What's your beef?

J.T. | February 13, 2015

@Bighorn I thought renwo was in charge of the guest list.

Bighorn | February 13, 2015

Yes, but we already know he has a beef, so this might require getting personally involved in your affairs:)

Sam_S | February 13, 2015

Is there an uncut version?

Bighorn | February 13, 2015

No, it was done as an infant.

logicalthinker | February 13, 2015 S alset

ROFLOL! Can you imagine this literally happening?

It'd go something like this, only far more dynamic in real life:
Gadfly: You guys have Teslas? You must be hopeless fanbois
JT: Well, Tesla is really a great company. I like my car.
Mclary: What is the purpose of this conversation? You are both idiots!!!

EdwardG.NO2CO2 | February 13, 2015

@J.T.... Well written, good message! Enjoyed it all!

J.T. | February 13, 2015

Bighorn | FEBRUARY 13, 2015 NEW
No, it was done as an infant.

Could be the funniest thing you've ever written . . . and that's saying something.

NKYTA | February 13, 2015

JT, you must have had your wife proofread ;-)

Awesome sauce!

BTW, thanks for the job...still awaiting my first check, I imagine that it will be coming soon.

Bighorn | February 13, 2015

Thanks J--made my day:)

Epley | February 13, 2015

Nicely done!

SeattleSid | February 13, 2015

Words fail. Me, not you.

PBEndo | February 13, 2015

JT, I assume you wrote this poem after you finished the Valentine's Day poem for your wife, right? If not, you better keep this one a secret.

J.T. | February 13, 2015


To my wife,
Teslas are red
Teslas are blue
As soon as my D comes
This white one's for you.
Happy Valentine's Day
from your hubby J.T.

How's that?

Captain_Zap | February 13, 2015


Tiebreaker | February 13, 2015

... And a romance champion! Bravo!

Uh, who is watching the store?

J.T. | February 13, 2015

@Tiebreaker I've got 8 cameras and a great staff. Not sure if i have a great staff because I have 8 cameras but that's not important. :-)

NKYTA | February 13, 2015


PBEndo | February 13, 2015

She is one lucky lady!

Grinnin'.VA | February 13, 2015

OP: I agree. You do have too much time on your hands. | February 13, 2015

Well done :)

logicalthinker | February 13, 2015

@JT, what do you do? You apparently have a store. cool

renwo S alset | February 13, 2015

JT is my mentor, but I only have 6 cameras.

J.T. | February 13, 2015

@logicalthinker I own a bagel bakery in beautiful downtown Cedarhurst, NY.

Yes, bagels are quite profitable.

sbeggs | February 13, 2015

We love you, @J.T., for all your many excellent talents!!! Carry on!

Pollux | February 13, 2015

Stunning! Nicely done, sir!



Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You could take my Tesla,
But then I'd kill you

No, I'm never going to match the lyrical heights J.T. has ascended...

1PT1 GEE | February 13, 2015

I grew up in Cedarhurst! And I definitely miss NY bagels...thanks for the great post.

SCCRENDO | February 13, 2015

@JT. Happy Valentine's Day.

logicalthinker | February 13, 2015

@JT, cool, good for you!

J.T. | February 13, 2015

@SCCRENDO Thanks. Right back at you. :-) | February 13, 2015

@JT: Longest poem I have ever read that wasn't a required assignment. I started getting rhyme anxiety after a while but you made it to the last smile. Kudos!

Half Dollar Bill | February 13, 2015

You guys need to add your contributions to this thread on TMC. They would probably inspire a new round of creativity.

J.T. | February 13, 2015

Thanks for the tip Half Dollar Bill.