Another adventure in my Tesla this weekend.

Another adventure in my Tesla this weekend.

You ain't gonna believe this sh!t...

We were headed to Busch Garden in VA for the long weekend on Saturday. It was just several hundred feet away from the entrance when this vintage Firebird, with a chicken embossed on his hood pulled up next to me on the left at the traffic light. Of course he rev'ed his engine a few times looking for some actions. I told him to fork off and silently moved over to another lane and continued to the park.

5 minutes later we were all lined up to 8 booths to pay for parking at the entrance. Of course I took the shortest queue on the right as everyone else was 20 deep on the left and middle lanes. As I approached the booth, a knucklehead in a MB SUV cut across 4 lanes and almost T boned me. Of course I honked him as he started to cut across. He stopped violently but was dumbfounded that I was in HIS lane.

Hours later, after the park was closed, we stopped by Richmond, VA supercharger for some juice 50 miles away. 15 minutes later, a local cop stopped in front of my car in a deserted mall before midnight. She got out with her hand on the holster. Whoa, what's going on?

"Sir, we have a report of a suspected kidnapping with your car fitting the description."

"I will gladly show you my junk, err, I mean trunk."

"This is the factory installed jump seats with 5 point harnesses. As you can see, my kids are sleeping there comfortably."

"Alright, carry on. False alarm."

Yeah, I gave the kiddies each a pair of pillows and a giant fan to circulate air in the trunk. I even rigged a pair of LED strips to light up every time the trunk was opened. They were very comfortable. But the last time it happened, it was 5 years ago with a handful of squad cars surrounding mine in Long Island.

And to top it off...

We were headed back up north, just after Baltimore on I-95 N around 5 PM on a lazy Memorial Day. Another schmuck went from the middle lane to cut someone off on the left lane, almost causing a rear end accident. The trailing car moved over to the middle lane in disgust.

I was going along with traffic at less than 80 MPH, about 4 seconds behind. So naturally, I looked for an escape lane to my right but started slowing down just in case.

Just a few seconds later, the aforementioned schmuck swerved erratically between lanes trying to avoid something on the road. It was a mattress protruding from the shoulder on the left lane.

Said schmuck failed miserably and hit it anyway. He continued to oversteer to the right, then left, then to the concrete barrier, while his left fender disintegrated in the process.

It was all in slow motion for me as I jumped over to the next lane in the middle to avoid the jerk. As luck would have it, the schmuck ricocheted off the barrier and shot 4 lanes over to the right and eventually caught by the guardrail.

It turned out that I started a chain reaction of brake lights in time and NO ONE hit that poor schmuck as he was playing bump a car by his lonesome.

How was that for another AP 0.0 victory?

You can't make this sh!t up...

PS - I was not wearing short shorts. I love to go commando...

Tropopause | 28 mai 2019

Family theme parks bring out the best in all of us.

Hope you grabbed that ol' mattress and took it home. Free is a good price.

mvotb | 28 mai 2019

Your rides are a lot more interesting than mine. I was thinking about asking for a ride til I saw the commando comment.

Mathew98 | 28 mai 2019

@mvotb - That was for @silver. I wear slacks for the most part.

M3phan | 28 mai 2019

I shall henceforth bypass VA. ; ))

EeVeee | 28 mai 2019

Crazy... all of it! Glad you’re safe!

Shesmyne2 | 28 mai 2019

Ah, Holiday travel.
Brings out the best of us.

Happy Summer

Still Grinning ;-)

Silver2K | 28 mai 2019

That was definitely more eventful than my trip to Bar Harbor, ME this past long weekend.

And no shorts!? C'Mon now!

Silver2K | 28 mai 2019

oh wait! my wiper pump started squealing and I fixed it by removing it and cleaning it out.

I originally thought the squealing was from the girl at the Starbucks drive-thru window when she saw my sexy shorts, but my wife said it's from the pump.

jjgunn | 28 mai 2019

All I do is put the car in AP at 65 MPH.

You guys get all the fun.

Teslanene | 28 mai 2019

Did you capture any video of the cop since it stop in front of you?

Mathew98 | 29 mai 2019

Yes, she was five foot nothing with a gun. I wasn't going to mess around with her...

Mathew98 | 29 mai 2019

@Tropopause - After passing the debris field by about 500 feet, there was a pickup truck sitting on the left shoulder. Those bozos had furniture and a couple of mattresses in the truck bed. All of them were unsecured. They were the complete imbeciles causing problems for others. I was pretty sure they went to retrieve the lost mattress in question. No freebies here.

@jjgunn - You'd get run over by semis if you were going 65 MPH on any stretches of I-95.

dsvick | 29 mai 2019

Where's the dashcam footage? It sounds like a good watch!!

barrykmd | 29 mai 2019

Matthew98 - I made that same trip (LI to Busch Gardens VA) with family 15-20 years ago. I recall doing a brewery tour while there. Wife didn't drink beer, but accompanied me. After the sampling at the end, she asked me how it was. I said, "Budweiser beer is just as bad when it's fresh as it is in the can."

jimglas | 29 mai 2019

I saw a bear by the side of the road

PBEndo | 29 mai 2019

Sounds like my typical commute to work in South Florida.

Mathew98 | 29 mai 2019

Hey officer, was that a gun in your pocket or were you just happy to see me, a real life celebrity in your tiny town?

thranx | 29 mai 2019

The Three Laws:
1) A robot cannot harm a human being
2) A robot cannot harm a human being unless it is to protect another human being from harm
3) A robot cannot harm a human being unless it is to protect another human being from harm, unless a mattress is involved, in which case a robot would do wise to stay out of it and avoid the entire incident pronto.

sklancha | 30 mai 2019

&OP- That’s the best you got? Until you can add unlawful entry, phone sex, and threat of arrest- you ain’t got nothin’. ;)


Mathew98 | 30 mai 2019

Yes, we shall all bow down to the queen of all Tesla travel adventures. Wait a minute, your excitement was with a Leaf...

PBEndo | 1 juin 2019

"your excitement was with a Leaf..."
so that means it included unlawful entry, phone sex, threat of arrest and legit range anxiety....

Mathew98 | 1 juin 2019

@PBEndo - Not gonna knock the range anxiety induced Leaf adventure.

Nah, no phone sex and unlawful entry here. But I was solicited at the Newark, DE supercharger while the boss and the kids were in the car.

Some of y'all probably remember my other episodes with a 3some offer, a circle jerk with 4 police cruisers as a kidnapper suspect, another close encounter with a single rider bump-a-car schmuck, and a flash from another MS passenger...

Anyone else like to share their strangest EV stories?

Yodrak. | 2 juin 2019

Either you or your S must be cursed.

PBEndo | 2 juin 2019

Curses are not mutually exclusive.

Mathew98 | 2 juin 2019

@Yodrak - ???

Each ride is an adventure. Defensive driving will keep you out of trouble.

ReD eXiLe ms us | 2 juin 2019

ICEHOLES are determined to never make life easier for anyone, anywhere, ever.

Glad you survived!

Yodrak. | 2 juin 2019

What I meant was, you seem to run into 'adventures' like few other people. Wondering the source of your luck?

I'm happy to say that I have experienced no such drama on the road, and I hope my good luck continues.

Mathew98 | 2 juin 2019

@Yodrak - My mantra for driving is to assume everyone on the road is a potential moron. Look way ahead, around, and behind you at all time. There are way to many unqualified "drivers" on the road...

Shesmyne2 | 3 juin 2019

Every drive in a Tesla is an adventure.
Circumstances may vary...

Still Grinning ;-)

Mathew98 | 3 juin 2019

Of course. You can leave NY, but NY doesn't leave you...

BTW, she's all yours now.

Yodrak. | 5 juin 2019

"My mantra for driving is to assume everyone on the road is a potential moron. Look way ahead, around, and behind you at all time. There are way to many unqualified "drivers" on the road..."

A good approach to driving, I agree completely.

Going off on a tangent, it's why I question those people who post that looking anywhere other than straight ahead is a distraction or is unsafe. [ducking for cover]

kerryglittle | 6 juin 2019

I agree Yodrak. I assume very driver on the road is going to make an idiot move sooner or later. When I first took up riding motorcycles many moons ago a friend gave me the best advice ever and it has saved my life or injury many times. He said when you put on your helmet for a ride pretend that you are invisible and nobody can see you. And I do. I cant count the close calls I have had from morons who are not paying attention to driving and pull out in front of me or other people. It seems to be getting worse now that people are glued to their phones.

Mathew98 | 6 juin 2019

@kerry - He was responding to a quote.

I've set the rear camera feed on the top portion of the screen for visibility to the sides and rear for 6 years. That's one way to look for Speedy Gonzalez creeping up from the rear. I caught a pair of BMW jerks racing 40+ over the speed limit on I-95 N near Elizabeth, NJ the same weekend.