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Mars Jokes Go HERE: A horse walked into a bar...

Mars Jokes Go HERE: A horse walked into a bar...

A Martian walked into a lingerie shop.

Yes, Sir, how can I help you?

Oh, wrong place. I thought this was a Mars Bar.

kevin | 27 septembre 2016

So what did you think about the new restaurant on Mars?

"Not much atmosphere"

Ross1 | 27 septembre 2016

Elon showing severe symptons of being Marsstruck

sp_tesla | 27 septembre 2016

kevin | September 27, 2016
So what did you think about the new restaurant on Mars?

"Not much atmosphere"

+1, clever/funny

Ross1 | 28 septembre 2016

A barman walked into a horse:
Oh dear, I marsed have been mistaken

georgehawley.fl.us | 28 septembre 2016

Are you Martian?
No, I'm just going to watch the parade.

georgehawley.fl.us | 28 septembre 2016

Is that a Mars bar?

No, it's a Milky Way.

Red Sage ca us | 6 octobre 2016

Someone taps you on the shoulder, then hands you a card that reads:

I AM A MARTIAN.
MY SEXUAL ORGANS ARE IN MY FINGERTIPS.
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE PREGNANT!

georgehawley.fl.us | 6 octobre 2016

Who's the little guy riding on the the shoulders of that leggy blonde doll.

Oh, that's just the shrimp on the Barbie.

Oh, Mars, right...

J.T. | 6 octobre 2016

A couple of Martians have a hard landing on Earth and blow out two tires on their landing gear. They see a town and walk into a deli where they see a basket of tires. They ask the clerk for two of the tires and he says, "Those aren't tires, they're bagels."

"Bagels?! What are bagels?" The Martians ask.

"You eat them," he said as he ripped off a piece and chewed it. He offered a piece to each Martian to taste which they happily did.

After a couple of seconds one Martian said to the other, "You know, these would go great with lox!"

Ross1 | 7 octobre 2016

@George: (quote) "now you are being silly"

Ross1 | 7 octobre 2016

A horse walked into a bar.
Barman; Why the long face?
Horse: Ranch anxiety.

mirio | 7 octobre 2016

Curiosity says to Spirit; "Oxygen is for looser's! Damn illegal immigrants!" (role eyes)
Spirit replies patriotically; "Yeah! They are letting anyone in these days!"

mirio | 7 octobre 2016

Restaurant on Mars;
Cheer full customer; "Garcon! Bring me your best bottle of water! We are celebrating!"
Waiter: "Oui Monsieur"
Waiter returns with bottle; "Voila! -Chateaux Urinal du Musk-. Very rare and exquisite, harvested on Mr. Musk’s first visit! I hope you enjoy."

mirio | 7 octobre 2016

Spirit to Curiosity; "Thank God we are on Mars! Could you imagine the gravity of the situation on earth!?"

mirio | 7 octobre 2016

Dad sits on a hill with his Son observing the free roaming robots on a martian prairie.

After a while the Dad asks his Son, “What do you want to be when you grow up Son?”
Son enthusiastically replies “I want to be a Tree Hugger Daddy!”

mirio | 7 octobre 2016

Mars suits labeled "Fart on your own risk!"

mirio | 7 octobre 2016

Breaking News!
Seeking Alpha member predict an oversupply of Oxygen on Mars!

georgehawley.fl.us | 7 octobre 2016

Martian: "Welcome to Mars. Who are you?"
Elon: "I'm Elon Musk. I just arrived from Earth."
Martian:" Why?"
Elon: "So humans can be a multi-planetary species."
Martian: Zap! "Not on my watch. Marstia, we have meat for dinner."

mirio | 7 octobre 2016

and of course the subsequent demise of the entire universe (potentially even its alternate dimensions!)

bish | 8 octobre 2016

@JR
Wasn't there a cream cheese commercial where the guy enjoyed the cream cheese so much he didn't even notice the bagel. He said, "bagel? What's a bagel?"

Uncle Paul | 10 octobre 2016

Horse walks into a Martian bar and starts eating out of a bowl of peanuts.

Bartender says....Hay!

Horse quickly responds....Sure!

sp_tesla | 10 octobre 2016

phawker1 | October 10, 2016

Good one.

Red Sage ca us | 10 octobre 2016

A Venusian, a Terran, and a Martian walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

Ross1 | 10 octobre 2016

A Sage walked into a bar.

Barman: Why the red face?

dsvick | 11 octobre 2016

@Ross - nicely done!

Red Sage ca us | 11 octobre 2016

A bar walked into a Ross.

Rossman: Where have you been all my life?

Ross1 | 12 octobre 2016

@Red: Hey, shortest post you have ever done.
Must be my influence.

dsvick | 12 octobre 2016

Two astronauts walked into a bar, the martian behind them, walked right under it.

dsvick | 12 octobre 2016

Q: What did the Martian say when he lost his spaceship?
A: "Where's my spaceship?"

carlgo2 | 12 octobre 2016

A horse trots into a bar...

Horse: Yo, man, where's all the phillies?

Bartender: Ah...sir...you might be more comfortable at another bar...

carlgo2 | 12 octobre 2016

Horse trots into a craft beer bar...

Horse: $30 for a beer?

Bartender: It is a craft beer, made from canal water that has been filtering through Martian volcanic rock for millions of years

Horse: Then why does the canal start from behind the Phillies' bathroom?

carlgo2 | 12 octobre 2016

Horse gallops into a bar...

Bartender: please be seated in the restaurant until your stool is ready.

carlgo2 | 12 octobre 2016

Horse wanders into a Martian bar and grill...

Scene: Full of drunken Martians, nothing on the grill.

Horse: Oh, oh...

UnshodBob | 12 octobre 2016

@carlgo2 - do you mean Phillies, the baseball team, or fillies, the female horse? :)

carlgo2 | 15 octobre 2016

Whichever one I spelled properly. Next category, sports on Mars

RussellJ | 16 octobre 2016

Two Martians walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.