The Ten Disadvantages of Owning A Tesla

The Ten Disadvantages of Owning A Tesla

Things are not all roses and sunlight as far as Tesla goes. For one thing, Tesla is literally on the verge of destroying the entire automobile industry as we know it. Gas prices could plummet and oil companies could be severely damaged. We could lose our important reasons for invading Mideast. Speed and performance could be taken for granted. Worse yet, we might all have to learn how to live with clean air.

But for individual owners, thing are even worse. There are at least ten down-sides that Tesla fails to warn consumers about:

1. Some people miss the smell of gasoline on their hands and clothing.

2. Tesla owners are forced to find new ways to spend their gas money.

3. Trips seem disappointingly short, because the car is simply too much fun to drive.

4. Tesla owners are forced to give up those peaceful moments meditating at the gas pump on cold winter nights while filling their tanks.

5. Tesla owners can't show off what they have under the hood (unless they have something really interesting in the frunk).

6. Tesla owners leave a trail of disappointment wherever they go, because when they drive by, people no longer take pride in their own cars.

7. It is impossible to commit suicide by leaving a Tesla running in a closed garage.

8. When you punch the accelerator on a Tesla, you can hurt your neck.

9. When driving a Tesla, people you've never met smile and wave, forcing you to question whether you are becoming senile, wondering how you know them.

10. Constantly having to answer the question, "What's it like to own a Tesla?"

If Tesla were more forthright, the company would warn potential owners that their lives are going to be permanently changed if they buy this car, as they will be distracted throughout the day, thinking about their car, constantly conniving reasons to drive places when they should be working. They will never again dream of a Ferrari or a Porsche. They will never hear the gratifying roar of their own exhaust pipes.

tesla.mahedy | 2014年3月10日

This is too funny! | 2014年3月10日


Lyon Sr. | 2014年3月10日

I want to "Share" this on facebook. How do I do it?

logicalthinker | 2014年3月10日

Copy link in browser window. Paste.

Excellent points BTW.

logicalthinker | 2014年3月10日

The Ferrari point is so true. I used to really admire them. now I think, meh, inefficient artwork.

akikiki | 2014年3月10日

Its a guy thing.

I went to the ER this weekend at our local hospital.

The internist on-duty collecting my medical history asked me what my problem was.

I said, that I thought it appropriate to come to the ER after recalling cautionary advice from a recent Viagra commercial.
I explained that the commercial recommended that one should seek
Doctor’s advice if an erection exceeds four hours.

The internist asked what I had recently been doing. I answered
that I had just completed a drive of several hours around the island of Oahu.

The young doctor stopped writing and leaned forward and asked “you wouldn’t by chance happen to own a Tesla Model S, would you?"

I said, “Yes, how did you know?" He replied, "we’ve had a considerable number of occurrences of this problem since the arrival of the first Model S on the island about a year ago."

See. Another disadvantage of owning a Tesla.

Lycanthrope P85 | 2014年3月10日

Tesla drivers are all at risk of obesity because they never walk anywhere any more...

NKYTA | 2014年3月10日

@akikiki, clever. Grin-worthy! :-)

+2 to the OP as well. On #5 the lack of anything in the frunk is sufficient in and of itself.

Oh, wait, I'm senile. ;-)

DJung | 2014年3月10日

After seeing the title, I thought the list would be comprised of cupholders and coat hangers. I can't wait for mine!

Lycanthrope P85 | 2014年3月10日

@DJung, what, you're telling me there are no cup holders??!! :0

NomoDinos | 2014年3月11日

One guy in a P85+ had the most beautiful aftermarket cupholders I've ever seen... I think their names were Jessica and Cindy?

chrisdl | 2014年3月11日

Were they B or C cup holders? That would be an improvement to Tesla's standard A cup fare at any rate.

LouieLou74 | 2014年3月11日


lolachampcar | 2014年3月11日

Now that was funny :)

amitb00 | 2014年3月11日

Too funny. Let me write few more:
Spending too much time on forums.
Making friends who you have never met.
Personifying a car and treating it as your family may cause relationship issues and you may need counseling or psychiatric help.
It may cloud your financial prudence and you may want to buy more for your spouse and kids.
You will be smiling all the time which may deprive you of other emotions and may not be appropriate at all occasions.

jjs | 2014年3月11日

+1 OP
+1 akikiki
+1 Nomo
funny funny funny

Nuts4MS | 2014年3月11日

#7 is the best!

ramtaz | 2014年3月11日

Letterman should put this on the air!!

MaxEntropy | 2014年3月11日

I'm one of those people that you see behind the wheel of a Chrysler Town and Country frantically pointing out every Model S I see to my kids so that they can see the wonderful car that Daddy helps finance. So, my apologies if I am making you question your own psychological well-being. It's not you. Really, it's not. :)

inverts | 2014年3月11日

Tesla owners cannot show off their car knowledge by talking about a gazillion parts (DOHC, shape of cylinder heads, gear ratios, idle motor …).

Tesla owners can not add NOS to their cars, so are only fast, but not furious :-)

Captain_Zap | 2014年3月11日

Thank you for working on financing Tesla vehicles.
As one of earliest buyers that financed a part of the purchase, I can say that it was really hard to find financing because not many companies were willing to step up and put the car in their database and they had no history for valuation. It turned into a challenge and a quest to educate the financial organizations. Some were receptive, some were not.

It was a few brave, inquisitive credit unions and banks that made it happen. They were rewarded handsomely with good loyal customers going forward. Hopefully you will be too.

mrspaghetti | 2014年3月11日

Nice post :)

MS85_Parsippany_NJ | 2014年3月11日

This is hilarious!

Bighorn | 2014年3月11日

Too many opportunities to have make-up smeared on the headliner.

RonaldA | 2014年3月11日

You can add NOS to the cabin. Its good for a laugh and for dental work

NKYTA | 2014年3月11日

For early VIN's, NO parking sensors!

CraigW | 2014年3月11日

TeslaTap wrote a book that is eminently worthy of your $. My wife gave it to me for my birthday.

In the middle he lists 10 types of people who may not want to buy a Tesla. | 2014年3月11日

@CraigW - Thanks for the plug! Always fun to poke non-believers a bit!

vincent.himpe | 2014年3月11日

- whiplash by tesla
- massive ghost cities in dubai and the emirates.

Roamer@AZ USA | 2014年3月11日

You miss spending quality time at Jiffy Lube and the upsell for fluids and filters.

portia | 2014年3月11日

@Lycantrope, "Tesla drivers are all at risk of obesity because they never walk anywhere any more..."

that is so untrue. Tesla drivers have to park at the farthest space in a parking lot to avoid being dinged by other cars, they have to walk so far everywhere they park!

(some) Tesla drivers have to give up valeting their cars because they just can't let someone else park their cars

or Tesla drivers have to bribe valets to park their own cars!

and when forced to drive a non-Tesla car, Tesla drivers are always leaving them in gear and on when they got out of the car because they have forgotten how to drive those old fashioned cars, they have to chase down the ICE cars to put it back in park.

Tesla drivers can't get into other cars because they did not present the door handles when you approach them.

cyantist | 2014年3月11日

Tesla drivers need to store extra pairs of sunglasses because they keep flying off the top of their heads into the rear cargo area.

Mel. | 2014年3月11日

gogfrey, could you send this to the Governor? | 2014年3月11日

A Model S also combats obesity by owners avoiding any need to go to the gas station's mini-mart and pig out on junk food.

renwo S alset | 2014年3月11日

TT. No wonder Christy is against Tesla. What part of pig...out applies to him?

renwo S alset | 2014年3月11日

Christie. sorry.

mbarontseff | 2014年3月11日

GREAT!! Made my day.

kenj | 2014年3月11日


... unless the supercharger is at a service station rest stop or mall .....

Mathew98 | 2014年3月12日

@Roamer "You miss spending quality time at Jiffy Lube and the upsell for fluids and filters."

I don't miss the lube jobs and the rim jobs "specials" for the ICE boxes. Those good ICE servicing folks always find something wrong with perfectly functional vehicles.

Lycanthrope P85 | 2014年3月12日

@Mathes98 - "lube jobs and the rim jobs", where is it you get this kind of service? :-)

Mathew98 | 2014年3月12日

Sometimes at home too! But they costs a lot more than the ones from the stealerships...

ryan.luurtsema | 2014年3月12日

This was awesome, thanks for the chuckle!

NKYTA | 2014年3月12日

A major disadvantage is when your household is not fully EV. Had to drive the wife's mustang yesterday. I managed not to burn out the clutch, which she appreciated. ;-)

GenIII can't come soon enough!

Gadfly | 2014年3月12日

# 11 You feel like a supermodel walking into WalMart. EVERYBODY stares and many drool.

MacDaddyDude | 2014年3月12日

MacDaddyLady here.
12. You always have to look decent for impromptu information sessions. It's worse than running into the PTA moms in your not quite good enough yoga pants while just picking up a gallon of milk. You have to look presentation ready AND have your brain in gear to talk Tesla. It's fun but not with allergies at 7 a.m. So.. you also need to upgrade the wardrobe and drink lots of caffeine at all times.

NKYTA | 2014年3月12日

@MacDaddyLady, LOL, thanks for yet another grin this evening. :-)

huzz1970 | 2014年3月12日

One more thing- #13) you will not be on the Jay Leno gas pump camera (I know, Jay is off the air, but it works with the list!)

The guys at work are asking me every day if the car has arrived, even my landscape guy asked about it today. My electrician sent me an email to see if he could see it yet. Two more days (theatrical sigh with palm to forehead).

Shesmyne2 | 2014年3月12日

LOL +1 to all.
Great community.

Still Grinning ;-)

Brian H | 2014年3月13日

#14 Continuous distraction, wondering, "Where can I drive next?" (Both short- and long-haul options.)

chrisdl | 2014年3月13日

15) You have to take numerous MILFs out of your neighborhood for a ride because they keep asking for it. (MILF = Mom I Love taking For a ride, obviously).