The Ten Disadvantages of Owning A Tesla

The Ten Disadvantages of Owning A Tesla

Things are not all roses and sunlight as far as Tesla goes. For one thing, Tesla is literally on the verge of destroying the entire automobile industry as we know it. Gas prices could plummet and oil companies could be severely damaged. We could lose our important reasons for invading Mideast. Speed and performance could be taken for granted. Worse yet, we might all have to learn how to live with clean air.

But for individual owners, thing are even worse. There are at least ten down-sides that Tesla fails to warn consumers about:

1. Some people miss the smell of gasoline on their hands and clothing.

2. Tesla owners are forced to find new ways to spend their gas money.

3. Trips seem disappointingly short, because the car is simply too much fun to drive.

4. Tesla owners are forced to give up those peaceful moments meditating at the gas pump on cold winter nights while filling their tanks.

5. Tesla owners can't show off what they have under the hood (unless they have something really interesting in the frunk).

6. Tesla owners leave a trail of disappointment wherever they go, because when they drive by, people no longer take pride in their own cars.

7. It is impossible to commit suicide by leaving a Tesla running in a closed garage.

8. When you punch the accelerator on a Tesla, you can hurt your neck.

9. When driving a Tesla, people you've never met smile and wave, forcing you to question whether you are becoming senile, wondering how you know them.

10. Constantly having to answer the question, "What's it like to own a Tesla?"

If Tesla were more forthright, the company would warn potential owners that their lives are going to be permanently changed if they buy this car, as they will be distracted throughout the day, thinking about their car, constantly conniving reasons to drive places when they should be working. They will never again dream of a Ferrari or a Porsche. They will never hear the gratifying roar of their own exhaust pipes.

tesla.mahedy | 10 maart 2014

This is too funny! | 10 maart 2014


Lyon Sr. | 10 maart 2014

I want to "Share" this on facebook. How do I do it?

logicalthinker | 10 maart 2014

Copy link in browser window. Paste.

Excellent points BTW.

logicalthinker | 10 maart 2014

The Ferrari point is so true. I used to really admire them. now I think, meh, inefficient artwork.

akikiki | 10 maart 2014

Its a guy thing.

I went to the ER this weekend at our local hospital.

The internist on-duty collecting my medical history asked me what my problem was.

I said, that I thought it appropriate to come to the ER after recalling cautionary advice from a recent Viagra commercial.
I explained that the commercial recommended that one should seek
Doctor’s advice if an erection exceeds four hours.

The internist asked what I had recently been doing. I answered
that I had just completed a drive of several hours around the island of Oahu.

The young doctor stopped writing and leaned forward and asked “you wouldn’t by chance happen to own a Tesla Model S, would you?"

I said, “Yes, how did you know?" He replied, "we’ve had a considerable number of occurrences of this problem since the arrival of the first Model S on the island about a year ago."

See. Another disadvantage of owning a Tesla.

david.baird | 10 maart 2014

Tesla drivers are all at risk of obesity because they never walk anywhere any more...

NKYTA | 10 maart 2014

@akikiki, clever. Grin-worthy! :-)

+2 to the OP as well. On #5 the lack of anything in the frunk is sufficient in and of itself.

Oh, wait, I'm senile. ;-)

DJung | 10 maart 2014

After seeing the title, I thought the list would be comprised of cupholders and coat hangers. I can't wait for mine!

david.baird | 10 maart 2014

@DJung, what, you're telling me there are no cup holders??!! :0

NomoDinos | 11 maart 2014

One guy in a P85+ had the most beautiful aftermarket cupholders I've ever seen... I think their names were Jessica and Cindy?

chrisdl | 11 maart 2014

Were they B or C cup holders? That would be an improvement to Tesla's standard A cup fare at any rate.

LouieLou74 | 11 maart 2014


lolachampcar | 11 maart 2014

Now that was funny :)

amitb00 | 11 maart 2014

Too funny. Let me write few more:
Spending too much time on forums.
Making friends who you have never met.
Personifying a car and treating it as your family may cause relationship issues and you may need counseling or psychiatric help.
It may cloud your financial prudence and you may want to buy more for your spouse and kids.
You will be smiling all the time which may deprive you of other emotions and may not be appropriate at all occasions.

jjs | 11 maart 2014

+1 OP
+1 akikiki
+1 Nomo
funny funny funny

Nuts4MS | 11 maart 2014

#7 is the best!

ramtaz | 11 maart 2014

Letterman should put this on the air!!

MaxEntropy | 11 maart 2014

I'm one of those people that you see behind the wheel of a Chrysler Town and Country frantically pointing out every Model S I see to my kids so that they can see the wonderful car that Daddy helps finance. So, my apologies if I am making you question your own psychological well-being. It's not you. Really, it's not. :)

inverts | 11 maart 2014

Tesla owners cannot show off their car knowledge by talking about a gazillion parts (DOHC, shape of cylinder heads, gear ratios, idle motor …).

Tesla owners can not add NOS to their cars, so are only fast, but not furious :-)

Captain_Zap | 11 maart 2014

Thank you for working on financing Tesla vehicles.
As one of earliest buyers that financed a part of the purchase, I can say that it was really hard to find financing because not many companies were willing to step up and put the car in their database and they had no history for valuation. It turned into a challenge and a quest to educate the financial organizations. Some were receptive, some were not.

It was a few brave, inquisitive credit unions and banks that made it happen. They were rewarded handsomely with good loyal customers going forward. Hopefully you will be too.

mrspaghetti | 11 maart 2014

Nice post :)

S_X_NJ | 11 maart 2014

This is hilarious!

Bighorn | 11 maart 2014

Too many opportunities to have make-up smeared on the headliner.

RonaldA | 11 maart 2014

You can add NOS to the cabin. Its good for a laugh and for dental work

NKYTA | 11 maart 2014

For early VIN's, NO parking sensors!

CraigW | 11 maart 2014

TeslaTap wrote a book that is eminently worthy of your $. My wife gave it to me for my birthday.

In the middle he lists 10 types of people who may not want to buy a Tesla. | 11 maart 2014

@CraigW - Thanks for the plug! Always fun to poke non-believers a bit!

vincent.himpe | 11 maart 2014

- whiplash by tesla
- massive ghost cities in dubai and the emirates.

Roamer@AZ USA | 11 maart 2014

You miss spending quality time at Jiffy Lube and the upsell for fluids and filters.

portia | 11 maart 2014

@Lycantrope, "Tesla drivers are all at risk of obesity because they never walk anywhere any more..."

that is so untrue. Tesla drivers have to park at the farthest space in a parking lot to avoid being dinged by other cars, they have to walk so far everywhere they park!

(some) Tesla drivers have to give up valeting their cars because they just can't let someone else park their cars

or Tesla drivers have to bribe valets to park their own cars!

and when forced to drive a non-Tesla car, Tesla drivers are always leaving them in gear and on when they got out of the car because they have forgotten how to drive those old fashioned cars, they have to chase down the ICE cars to put it back in park.

Tesla drivers can't get into other cars because they did not present the door handles when you approach them.

cyantist | 11 maart 2014

Tesla drivers need to store extra pairs of sunglasses because they keep flying off the top of their heads into the rear cargo area.

Mel. | 11 maart 2014

gogfrey, could you send this to the Governor? | 11 maart 2014

A Model S also combats obesity by owners avoiding any need to go to the gas station's mini-mart and pig out on junk food.

renwo S alset | 11 maart 2014

TT. No wonder Christy is against Tesla. What part of pig...out applies to him?

renwo S alset | 11 maart 2014

Christie. sorry.

mbarontseff | 11 maart 2014

GREAT!! Made my day.

kenj | 11 maart 2014


... unless the supercharger is at a service station rest stop or mall .....

Mathew98 | 12 maart 2014

@Roamer "You miss spending quality time at Jiffy Lube and the upsell for fluids and filters."

I don't miss the lube jobs and the rim jobs "specials" for the ICE boxes. Those good ICE servicing folks always find something wrong with perfectly functional vehicles.

david.baird | 12 maart 2014

@Mathes98 - "lube jobs and the rim jobs", where is it you get this kind of service? :-)

Mathew98 | 12 maart 2014

Sometimes at home too! But they costs a lot more than the ones from the stealerships...

ryan.luurtsema | 12 maart 2014

This was awesome, thanks for the chuckle!

NKYTA | 12 maart 2014

A major disadvantage is when your household is not fully EV. Had to drive the wife's mustang yesterday. I managed not to burn out the clutch, which she appreciated. ;-)

GenIII can't come soon enough!

Gadfly | 12 maart 2014

# 11 You feel like a supermodel walking into WalMart. EVERYBODY stares and many drool.

MacDaddyDude | 12 maart 2014

MacDaddyLady here.
12. You always have to look decent for impromptu information sessions. It's worse than running into the PTA moms in your not quite good enough yoga pants while just picking up a gallon of milk. You have to look presentation ready AND have your brain in gear to talk Tesla. It's fun but not with allergies at 7 a.m. So.. you also need to upgrade the wardrobe and drink lots of caffeine at all times.

NKYTA | 12 maart 2014

@MacDaddyLady, LOL, thanks for yet another grin this evening. :-)

huzz1970 | 12 maart 2014

One more thing- #13) you will not be on the Jay Leno gas pump camera (I know, Jay is off the air, but it works with the list!)

The guys at work are asking me every day if the car has arrived, even my landscape guy asked about it today. My electrician sent me an email to see if he could see it yet. Two more days (theatrical sigh with palm to forehead).

Shesmyne2 | 12 maart 2014

LOL +1 to all.
Great community.

Still Grinning ;-)

Brian H | 13 maart 2014

#14 Continuous distraction, wondering, "Where can I drive next?" (Both short- and long-haul options.)

chrisdl | 13 maart 2014

15) You have to take numerous MILFs out of your neighborhood for a ride because they keep asking for it. (MILF = Mom I Love taking For a ride, obviously).