The car is fully charged. The dashboard screen seen through the wheel is lit up but the main screen is all black. Dashboard screen say "Car off" and there is an indicator message saying "Systems are powering up press break when this message goes away" or something like that. Naturally the message never goes away, nothing powers up, the big screen stays off. How do you turn this car on? The manual is normally on the big screen and that's off.
When nothing happens, I step on the brake anyway and find that I can in fact drive the car, sort of. The side mirrors do not unfold, I have no back up camera, I can not defog the windshield or control anything because the big screen no longer offers me any controls.
I drive it home and plug it in, charge it fully. Next day same thing. Timed it. 10 minute wait and the message "Systems are powering up.." is still there. WTF?
I google for "tesla systems powering up" and find some random forum from a year ago with about a dozen people describing their car getting into this state - attempting to describe the conditions under which it happens or how often or rarely it happens. There were comments that this is "standard power saving mode." Not one comment on that forum on how to turn the car on and get it out of this state.
Where is the little hole that I can shove the unfolded paper clip into to factory reset my car?