It is with some regret I really have to cancel my X order. It just is not what I expected.
Falcon Wing Doors – I really like the minivan sliding doors, True the sliding doors are hard to get by in a tight spot, I often hit my head on the frame, and they take longer to open, but they give off that Soccer mom vibe that we like.
2nd Row seats – On my current SUV I can remove the 2nd row seats. True it weighs 200 lbs., and I’ve never removed them in 5 years, but hey, it’s possible someday I might want to get a hernia lifting them out.
5-star crash rating – How am I going to collect on life insurance? With my current 1-star SUV crash rating, I may hit the jackpot. While I’ll never drive it, it’s perfect for my wife and our huge life insurance policy!
Lighted vanity mirrors – Don’t need or want them. This alone is a deal breaker. Please remove them! I don’t want passengers putting on makeup, shaving, removing boogers and what else vanity mirrors are used for.
A 0-60 time of 3.2 seconds is way too slow - My McLaren MP4-12C has a 0-60 time of 2.9 seconds. It's always important to compare similar vehicles to point out deficiencies.
Let me add a lot of other unrelated points that I've made up, as it’s clear from the deliveries that the X can never be built, parts will never be available and the windshield alone will cost more than you pay for the original car.
I’m a Tesla shareholder, and I’m not bashing the Model X, but pointing out all the faults that if I buy 10 other SUVs and combine features in my imagination that no SUV actually has, you can see that the Model X does not measure up. I don’t mind supporting terrorist regimes with my 15 mpg oil burning SUV. The population is totally out of control, so a little extra pollution (ok, maybe a lot of pollution) is just not my problem. [Yes, this rant is satire, which will be lost on a few]